mercredi, juillet 19

Substitue Blogging

Howdy Y’all. J-Mo here.

I’ve been asked to fill in for the absent Raspberry and my what a mighty big bra that is to fill. The girl writes like a champ, fun, sexy, vibrant, yet intelligent and even educational at times. She lives the life of a playgirl giving a fresh story about her latest dating adventure what seems to be every second day. Oh and she posts some of the hottest pictures in the blogosphere including some pretty risqué ones, which of course are my personal favourites.

Now how the hell am I supposed to measure up? I need to write something decent. It needs to be fun yet educational. It should be about a date I’ve had, and it needs to include a bit of nudity.


Wait a tic.......I’ve got it. This will be perfect seeing as Raspberry’s very own will soon be reaching this precious age. The precious age that the dirty old man in me still considers datable. We’re talking the very legal age of 18 and how morally shot the whole lot of them can be.

Let’s set the scene. My drinking partner and I decide to make our way to the beach near our city that all the cool kids flock to one sunny Saturday in the Hammer. It’s now getting late in the afternoon and we had both been drinking all day, but my mate is in a completely different drunken state then I am. I am what you would call buzzed. He is more along the lines of retarded at this point.

As I come back from the lake (I had to pee) My mate is no longer sitting where our towels are. He’s about 100 feet to the left yelling at a couple of cuties in black bikini’s

“You don’t know me! I don’t even know me, how the hell could you know me!” He then plops down beside them.

My cue to arrive. I make my approach and my accomplice notices me arrival first.

“Have you ever seen an ass like this before” he slurs at me as he turns the bottom of her bathing suit in to a thong.

She playfully slaps his hand away, but it’s not without a coy little smile.

Now I think they may have told us at first that they were 21, but we later found out they were 18. Actually they could have never said 21 at all. I might have made that up, but regardless for some reason (I’m guessing the combination of booze and bikinis) we continued to talk to them until it was time to go. Plans for the night were exchanged and they agreed to make the trip in to the hammer later that evening. I’m not sure if we didn’t believe them or just didn’t care, but we proceeded to head back to my house and just continue with the drinking.

Nine o’clock the call comes in and they’re on their way over but need directions. Whoa shower time.

Now this is where the educational part of the post comes in. The moral fiber of society is being torn apart at an exponential rate. With every difference in year, every difference in grade teens are continuing their attempt to act more mature without the wisdom that comes from years of experience. Then add on the role that certain media plays in portraying these morally lax lifestyles and the ease of which the youth of today, with their sponge like minds, have access to it and you have the making of what destroyed the roman empire. Fat, bloated government and sexually promiscuous youth.

Now lets tie that all in to my story.

As the girls arrive my mate and I are out on the front porch. It’s about ten o’clock and the sun has just dipped behind the last house leaving the neighbourhood draped in darkness. Immediately the conversation for these two innocent, yet deadly hot ladies turns to sex. I’m shocked to hear how casually they tell us how much they love sex. The one girl even professes to give the best blowjobs ever. Of course my mate and I are doing nothing to stifle this conversation. We pry on their leads and push the conversation forward. As the topic of blowjobs has now come up we continue on down the path, or shaft, to the discussion of balls.

“I love licking balls” the one girls says.

“really!?!” I reply in a sort of impressed, but skeptic tone.

“Oh of course” she returns.

My mate, while currently playing with my phone, blurts out “why don’t you lick his balls right now”

“sure” she replies.

It’s ten-thirty on a Saturday night, out on my front porch, and this dead sober girl that I only met earlier in the afternoon and have spent a total of one hour with is already willing to lick my balls as our friends watch. In an attempt to call her bluff my balls jump from the fly of my jeans. My mate switches the phone to camera mode and informs her that this will need to be photographed for prosperity. She gets lost in the big words but smiles and brushes the blonde hair from her face as she begins to bend over.

Say cheese!

Sorry about the shitty quality, but it took us nine tries just to get one this decent!