vendredi, juin 29

what doesn't kill us just makes us better whores

holy crap i had no idea.

leave it to the little brother to point out that i've reached 1000 posts. you know, i started this thing just 'cause i was curious about the relationships you form with people you meet online - whether or not they can be true friendships. it was my own little social experiment, if you will.

and man look where we are now. i'm in a (dare we say) successful relationship with someone i met online. i have what i would consider friends whom i've never met in person. i have friends whom i *have* met in person. i've watched people come and go, and seen people arrive and prosper.

i feel old.

anyhoo - on to other things.

so the architect, some friends, and i are all heading out to mayne island this weekend for some camping. well, that is we *hope* we are. when we tried to book ferry reservations earlier in the week, there was nothing available from tsawwassen to mayne island. soooo... the architect is packing up the car early, heading over to victoria, and *then* trying to catch the ferry over to mayne. i'm going to follow with our friends this evening but we will walk on straight to mayne. we hope.

if he can't get over to mayne island, we have the option of finding something on vancouver island, but it has to be fairly close to the ferry terminal, 'cause he'll have to drop off our stuff and come back and pick us up. when i packed the car last night i left barely enough room for 3 bodies - never mind our fourth camper and his gear. heh. fortunately the divine ms. u and i are fairly small people.

jeudi, juin 28

shut the g-darned f*** up

dear cfox muckimuck;

please god never again replace the jeff o'neil morning show with todd & karen. they are not funny. todd is a sycophantic cockrocker with, quite frankly, bad taste in music. karen is nothing more than a simpering pedant whose only redeeming quality is that she gives good voice.

the guy who called in this morning and said they were idiots was right. you'll notice that no one called in to agree with him? it's because everyone with half a brain has recorded themselves performing a mock radio show and put it on autorepeat. trust me - it's more interesting. i, unfortunately, can't pick up anything else on my shower radio, so i'm stuck with them.

please, i beg you, put cory price on. put lana on. put scott allen on. tell jeff & charis & scotty that they are no longer allowed to take vacation. hell put neil morrison on - i'd rather listen to nirvana than nickleback. I DON'T CARE JUST FOR GOD SAKES DON'T MAKE ME LISTEN TO TODD AND KAREN EVER AGAIN.

raspberry sundae.

mardi, juin 26

dude looks like a serial killer. that or lead keyboards in an abba tribute band

i've been chatting with spo this morning. it just so happens that today is his 30th birthday. happy happy day, spo.

the architect, the sister and a few friends headed out on sunday for a grand day of greek festival in the thunder and rain, followed by the white strips up at deer lake park.

now, i freely admit that i was smashed a bit tipsy, but i had an incredible time. not only did i have line magic (that amazing ability to wander to the very front of the line and enter it seamlessly) but i also managed to weave my way to the front of the stage and spend the entire show with a clear view of the band.

plus i'd remembered to wear my kickass new pink rubber boots so my feet stayed dry and mud-free. they will be a fine addition to my festival wear this summer, let me tell you.

not to mention i look cute as a button when i'm wearing them.

vendredi, juin 22

a yay yay whoa-oh

never let it be said that god is not a reasonable man. i asked for sun, and i got sun. it may have been pouring rain at the same time, but it was sunny...

sorry god, but let it never be said that i am unwilling to call you on the stupid games you play with our lives.

anyhoo - onward. one of the other less than palatable aspects to living in vancouver is the proliferation of nickleback sound-alikes. because chad the apostle (what is WITH the god thing i have going on today) and his er... followers? merry men? bandmates? whichevs... because they are based out of vancouver and have named their record label 604 (the superior area code here in the lower mainland), vancity has adopted them as their own (i think that they are originally from calgary*, which says alot about their particular brand of cowboy rock). sooooo...... any band that is nickleback, is produced by nickleback, or sounds like nickleback is treated with a reverence usually reserved for luminaries such as the pope, the queen mum**, and david suzuki.

the music that these bands produce*** is infectious enough**** (therein lies their popularity) but normally i'm fairly immune to it. oh sure you may catch yourself tapping your fingers on the steering wheel as you sit in traffic, but if any of your friends noticed you doing it you would absolutely try and pass it off as a tic, or impatience, or some kind of seizure*****.

this morning, however, i found myself singing along with one of these nickleclones - specifically the refrain haphazardly reproduced as the title up there. fortunately i was in the car by myself and (as we all know) when you are in your car you are invisible to surrounding cars. i couldn't help myself - the tune was catchy, and infectious******, and if i closed my eyes i could picture myself on the top of ol' smokey yorbling away joyously.

well at least until i almost hit a telephone pole. then i opened my eyes and changed the station.

*i've just realized that i've been hacking on calgary a lot this week. i'm not sure why and no offense, sass.

**is the queen mum still alive? i really have no idea.

***the verb, not the noun. we have nothing against fruits and vegetables here in the sundae sanatorium.

****like herpes, or some sort of angry red rash.

*****i find that the addition of a head shake or two, and some explosive tourettes-like profanity goes a long way towards reinforcing this ruse..

******damn rash

jeudi, juin 21

hot sticky scenes

ug i wish it was hot sex that's on my mind, unfortunately it's just frickin rain.

rain rain and more rain - i don't understand why we get 2 nice days and then have to cope with 7 rainclogged waterlogged soggy bottomed weeks in a row before we see the sunshine again.

can you say i'm moving to california? amen sister, amen.

mercredi, juin 20

riot in belgium remix

so i'm back at work wearing my fun new he-man tshirt. while i like staying at home, i like being there when i'm feeling well and so am able to lounge in the sunshine, cocktail in hand, not when my belly is in knots and i'm afraid to stray more than 10ft from the bathroom.

so yes, it's true, i'd rather be at work than in that situation.

the camping trip for next weekend seems to be coming together slowly but surely, and soundwave a bit more excellently than that. even the sister has broken down and decided to come, which means that we should all have an extremely grand time.

question - what is your favourite beastie boys song, and why?

mardi, juin 19

i love sample sales

oy i'm working from home today, since i'm not all that comfortable straying too far from the ladies room, if you know what i'm saying.

not that you want to think about that sort of thing but heck if i can't be inappropriately personal here, what good is having a blog? we can discuss that strangely pungent rash you are developing later on. feel free to divulge its location and the way it periodically expels spores in the comments section.

so i'm lying on my bed, lyrics born on the itunes, the architect clickityclacking away beside me, and it's sunny out. why don't these things happen when it's pouring rain? yesterday, for example, would have been a great day to be sick in bed. today? not so much....

lundi, juin 18

you don't know what love is you only know how to do what you are told

oh i have some serious bad belly this morning. i know it's not normal to throw up (on average) one meal a day, but it's not like i'm forcing myself to do it. it's like i get this feeling in my stomach and the back of my throat and then i start thinking about it and whoops i did it again. it has to be the allergies, but it's so random - like i seem to have a lot of trouble eating tomatoes, even though i'm not allergic to tomatoes (god forbid!)

plus i'm not puky enough to have the positive side effect, which is being lovely and rail thin, so i get to yak like a bulimic but not fit into size zero jeans which seems like a cruel sick joke on behalf of the gods or something, doesn't it?

le sigh.

dimanche, juin 17

pushing forward back

you know, from back in the day when chris cornell was kind of cool. audioslave wasn't cool they were catchy there's a difference and while the two are not necessarily mutually exclusive there's a sincere relationship between something's catchiness and its coolness or lack thereof rather.

note from a guy i went out with a few times before the architect was in my email this morning. this was funny 'cause i'd had a dream where he played a role just last night. (something to do with his three dogs and children from a previous marriage and my reluctance to be part of the samsonite sideshow) let us never say that the world is not interconnected my friends. he was commenting that he'd not heard from me in a while and figured it was because of the capitalr-elationship and respected that.

since it was on my mind i responded saying that part of it was the distractions of day to day life in my world (the principal feature of the landscape being the guy who spends his nights sound asleep beside me) but part of it was, of course, my natural absentmindedness. i asked him if his inquiry was friendly or if he had ulterior motives. the chef, you see, made a sudden reappearance via facebook and, when i told him i was not interested in pursuing extracurricular activities, disappeared as just as abruptly. his reply was very nicely worded and so, i thought, bore repetition:
Always the asks....I probably would as well..

I think it poses a barrier in a way
I would like to keep the memory where it is,,, as i like it...
If this makes sense

I am happy you have found someone ...I mean this
I think if i seen you in person i would want to kiss you or maybe lets leave it where it is.

We can say hi by email though....

I wouldnt want you to step out on anything that makes you happy.......I know I wouldnt
funny how there are actual gentlemen out there on the planet and even in the midst of my rollercoaster of sexual self destruction i managed to find one or two hiding in the shadows...

vendredi, juin 15

we turn, turn out hate in factories

i've been bad with my meds this week. this fact, in combination with my 'special' time, has me feeling worse in my head and my heart than i have in ages.

i'm feeling like i want to run the knife across my wrists across the palms of my hands to feel the sharp it's like i have an itch that needs to be scratched and the craving craving burning to do it is almost overwhelming is all i can think about is the picture in front of my eyes blurring my vision clouding my perspective blinding me to the screen on the desk i just want everything to go away

mardi, juin 12

nicotine valium vicodin marijuana ecstasy & alcohol

traffic at the tunnel was a fucking nightmare today. apparently there was an accident on the alex fraser bridge, so all the assholes from surrey came over my way to get over /under the river. awesome.

i seriously had seen so many boneheaded aggressive driver stupid moves by 6.45 this morning i was half convinced i'd be dead by seven - especially at the moment when a jerk in a silver jetta totally pushed his way into the lane two cars in front of me, causing the guy in front of me to slam on his breaks and me to slam on mine. i wasn't in any danger of hitting him but the big rig truck rushing up behind me almost turned me into a raspberry-flavoured slinky. quite the way to start the day, let me tell you. that adrenaline will certainly wake you up, however forty minutes later you are exhausted from the fight/flight anxiety attack and ready for a nap.

vendredi, juin 8

It’s 2007, people. If you don’t know what to do when your neighbors start shambling around and getting all bitey, you probably deserve to die

so i emailed him back and basically pointed out that i wasn't the one he needed to convince, but he'd very def. made a mistake that most likely couldn't be rectified. i let him know that we are all aware that he held off joining another ship so that he could be on the same contract as the girl he cheated on my sister with once they'd broken up, and i told him that i suspected he was having this sudden flash of remorse because something had happened in that 'relationship'. i also told him that the sister is happier than i've ever seen her - looks great, is going out, and (most importantly) isn't wasting any more time sitting around waiting for someone who only has his eye on the horizon, casting about in search of the next big adventure. i told him only the truth and i think i said it respectfully and clearly and didn't tell him that i'd like to put his dick in a meat grinder, though i fer sher was thinking it.

so that part is done - now i just need to tell the sister that he's emailed me and that i've responded. perhaps i'll wait until she's a drink or two to the wind this weekend.

i went to the driving range yesterday at lunchtime with a group from the office - for $13 you got a box lunch, a 7iron, and a bucket of balls, plus some time with the head golf pro. now, i'm no golfer, but i sure enjoy whacking things with a stick. today. though, my right hand is a bit... shall we say crippled - the tendon in my wrist is very tight and the whole typing thing is a bit of a challenge. should be interesting....

oh ps - i finally got new glasses yay!

jeudi, juin 7

we can't have parties like in spain where they go all night (shut down in north america)

first things first - ok so the stanley cup isn't coming back to canada this year but let's be frank: bc has about as much in common with ontario as we do with lower mesopotamia. and i gotta say - it was pretty sweet to see the niedermeyer brothers hoist that cup - good bc boys that they are. not like i watched the end of the game, or anything. i gave up at 5-2 in the 3rd and figured i knew how it was going to end.

so this am i got up to am email from the sister's ex - the one who cheated on her for 2 months before he came home and is now off sailing europe with another woman (from all reports). he says he has come to realize he's made a huge mistake (duh) and figures she's the one for him. how do i respond to this? she's doing pretty well w/o him - has started to move on, has found a guy she might be interested in. i can't *not* tell her i got the note, but at the same time i don't want her to be confused-slash-hurt-slash-set back in her recovery. what do do?

mardi, juin 5

sick sick sick don't resist

there's me & the architect on saturday night. clearly (thanks to the non-bleary gazes and general lack of slobbering) it was early in the evening. things sort of went downhill from there.
not that this is a bad thing, by any means - we all needed a night out, since its been way too long, and an extremely good time was had by all.

today, on the other hand, i am dealing with the lingering remains of a migraine, slept all morning, and just yakked up my lunch. good times.

we've more or less decided that the right thing for us to do is move to san diego. career wise, the architect is stagnating here, and he has a great deal more earning potential than i do. not to mention the fact that i am not necessarily all that emotionally invested in what i do - while i do work with some great people, the shit the management has put the staff through in the last year (it can only be assumed that they were purposely driving the value and moral of the company down as a way to price it for an easy sale. i have even speculated that the constant restructuring, layoffs and everything else were part of a plan set up with the purchasing company a year ago when they first entered talks. the massive 'retainment' bonuses gifted out to the ceo et all would surely indicate something not quite above board, and also ensure that we will be working with the same underhanded ethics) make me less than set upon staying. so.... easy move for me to make, workwise, harder to make personally. my friends, the folks, the sister, the kiddo.... all so hard to leave behind. and even with spo's excellent advice i am faced with a great deal of trepidation about starting over again.

lundi, juin 4

if i were in family guy i'd be brian

intelligent, sophisticated, slightly alcoholic.

man what a weekend. i feel as though summer has officially kicked off - dinner and drinks on a sunny friday night patio (our local - a restaurant with a pub "feel" so that the kiddo can come too), brunch saturday at provence followed by some sunny wandering in kits, clubbing with the sister, the architect, the divine ms u, our new downstairs neighbour and six more of our friends saturday night, then a morning of recovery, coffee and fresh strawberries on the sundeck, followed by the ladner annual salmon bbq in the park for dinner. there was a laid back, relaxed feel of who cares if we get the chores done (even though we did actually get through most of them) that really should accompany every weekend.

random facts -
  • i painted my toenails bright iridescent pink
  • i'm going to make pasta for dinner tonight, and drink red wine
  • i'm wearing undies with skulls all over them
  • my boss bought me a hat
  • i really want to go shoe shopping
  • scratch that - i really want to go shopping
  • i wish i were still in bed
  • secretly i think that i make better bbq'd salmon than i had last night
  • that makes me worry that i'm kinda vain
  • i'd gladly spend all of my money on groceries, now that i have an appreciative dining audience
  • er... that's it for now