lundi, avril 23


It's crazy how things change. How you take a step down a path and somehow end up sucked into a whirlwind of life and chaos and laughter and tears and before you know it everything's different. Not always better, but different.

Like how one morning you wake up and you are living in Michigan and you've met this great guy who stimulates you in every EVERY way and things are awesome and you can somehow let yourself believe that you won't be found half eaten by your cat alone in a studio apartment in the shitty part of town, surrounded by cat food tins.

And then you wake up and the guy is telling you he's not sure what he wants anymore and he doesn't know what he's doing with his life so he doesn't want to do this anymore. And then you realize you are stuck in Michigan and it's freezing cold and you don't have any friends and you kind of hate it here.

And that you have to start all over.


mardi, juillet 5

5 reasons

Give me five reasons to get on that plane tomorrow, I said. Give me five reasons and the job and my cat don't count. The artist played funny. "Come back or this apple gets it" he said, & sent me a photo of a half-eaten red delicious. Then, "I haven't seen Fubar yet".

The Couchsurfer put in some effort. "We still need to make furniture together". "Berro (my girl) will be sad".

Only one person, though, had the one answer that I wanted, no, needed to hear. "You have to come back. You would be missed". Somehow, Mace always *always* knows.

mercredi, mai 25

the eff word

"So anyway, blah blah blah. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I know I'm just some random chick you met on the internet, but I hope you think of me as a friend, and know that I'm here for you."

"I do think of you as my friend. That is a fact. I feel like I can trust you, and am totally comfortable talking to you, which is clear because of the nonsense that's come out of my mouth during this conversation".

Vero says I'm just trying to deny my feelings. I don't want to like him, but I do. I know he's hooking up with other people. He's told me. I keep trying to do the same but I just don't want to. I can't help it. I'm distracted, fascinated, overwhelmed by the fact that my face hurts from laughing so much after we spend time together. I hate this. Why can't I just let it be?

samedi, mai 21

the eff?

It's six am. I'm awake. I drank 2+ bottles of wine last night and I'm awake. Plus my facebook account is temporarily unavailable. Maybe the rapture did happen, despite the fact that the BBC is still there? And only Mark Zuckerberg was raptured?


I'm actually supposed to be going hiking with the artist today. Yup, it's a day-date. I mean, we did that other day-date once before where we were supposed to go do fun things in the park and ended up doing a bike pub crawl all over town, but this is kind of the first non-alcohol related thing we've planned.  Even though I might take sangria in my water bottle instead of water, 'cause that's kinda how I roll. I'm not actually sure when we are going, though, 'cause he went all radio silent last night which I guess means he was exercising his right to eff other people, and then sent a cryptic garbled message which kind of made me think that "other people" is actually code for "lots of hallucinogenic drugs". So I'm not sure how to approach it and more importantly I'm not sure whether or not I'm going to get laid.

What I am sure of is that if *he's* effing other people (and when I say "other people" I do mean "other people") then I need to do it too, so I re-activated my OKC account last night and laid a little groundwork for some whoring around. Shit - what if the rapture is yet to come and I just totally blew my chances? God, if you are listening, I didn't mean "whoring around" I meant "meet someone wholesome and saintly and just hold hands across a very wide table until we are united in holy matrimony". Or something.

Fuck thank god - crisis averted. Facebook's back.