vendredi, mars 30

renegades are the people

more from the wild world of violence in sports: professional team play has been suspended for two weeks in greece after violence broke out between fans at a women's volleyball match and one person was killed.

ok ok you say that cricket inspires fierce loyalty and passion, but women's volleyball??? seriously.

jeudi, mars 29

it's not easy being green

so the first thing i did this morning was watch kermit the frog perform 'hurt'. i've gotta say - watching kermie do the h-twitch is more than a little disconcerting to someone who grew up watching the muppets. it's really not right. ergo, i refuse to link to it. however, if you don't believe me it's readily available on youtube or from your usual sources.

ok it wasn't really the *first* thing - i also got up showered got dressed ate toast drank coffee and came to work, not necessarily in that order. it was, though, perhaps the first sentient thing i did this morning.

that's a little scary, since chronologically watching hurt comes well *after* driving the 30 or so KM to the office.

i don't think i have any long hair pictures of myself on this computer (being chuck, the work laptop) that don't show me sporting a hat or an updo or something which would prevent anyone from making an educated 'cut or no cut' decision. well aside from my pervy little brother who has definite feelings on the matter.

oy i'm so sleepy i can barely keep my eyes open for some reason this morning. i'd better be perking up 'cause i've got dodgeball this evening. i heart dodgeball, even though i'm not all that good. it sure is fun, though.

xo

mercredi, mars 28

running towards nothing again and again and again

so the sister popped by last night and we ended up drinking wine and playing dominoes. somewhere along the line i've become addicted to dominoes. the kiddo came in with a buddy last night and introduced us all with the descriptor "they're always sitting around getting drunk and playing dominoes".

hm.

i may have a problem.

mind you, i could be sitting around getting drunk watching american idol and dancing with the stars, then falling asleep on the couch with a lit cigarette and burning the house down. that would be worse, i think. especially since i don't smoke and hate reality tv. actually the sister made us put american idol on in the background after the hockey game was over. her awesomeness gwen stefani was doing something with the contestants and she wasn't all made up and she looked, well, awesome as usual. i have no idea what she was doing there, but still.

regardless of the presence of gwen, the show met all of my expectations on the suck factor. fortunately i was a bottle of wine in by the time it came on so i can't actually remember how bad it was, i just have a general impression of awful.

dancing with the stars i removed from my memory with a slotted spoon. messy, yes, but very effective.

i'm thinking of cutting my hair off. i'm tired of the long.

lundi, mars 26

overwhelm, destroying so sweetly

do i look as though i'm up to something?
nah couldn't be.

i have been pondering career options over the weekend and i'm wondering whether or not i should take a few human resources courses (and not just 'cause that's fun to say). whilst surfing about i came across a scandinavian company that does workplace wellness coaching, but focuses on making workplaces fun. this makes a lot of sense to me since it is kind of part of my role at my current employment but maybe turning it into something a little more formalized would be a rewarding path to take.

ok part of me thinks like that - the other part wonders if it's just a post-tekboom gen x conceit to think that workplaces should be fun. it is work, after all.

but then why shouldn't they? we spend more time at work than anywhere else. or i do, anyway, despite my best efforts to avoid doing much more than my 8hour stint each day. le sigh. all i know is that what i'm doing now isn't the most satisfying occupation in the world and i need to find something that gives me more.

more of what, i'm not sure.

spo's right though - i need to do something more creative 'cause i feel as though i'm becoming a spreadsheet slave, a corporate drone. bleh. before you know it i'll be buying suits and wearing sensible beige nylons under my conservatively heeled pumps, instead of knee high 3inch black leather boots and sheer black stockings.

blah blah blah this post goes everywhere. i need to sort out my head.

samedi, mars 24

knew its name since before i could speak

hello saturday domestic bliss or something like that.
home depot, bed bath & beyond, big day big day
except we don't have that boring bathroom superstore just faded proximations

it's noon i'm still in bed too small white tshirt hard nipples thinking about looking for porn and fucking myself but too fucking lazy to be bothered.

(the picture's old, yeah, but i like it so deal)

vendredi, mars 23

who knew

that cricket was so (pardon the expression) cutthroat? i mean, you expect violence in hockey, football (the real kind not the padded up na version), and other such contact sports, but cricket?

jamaican authorities are now saying that the coach of the pakistani team was actually strangled to death after a st patrick's day loss to ireland which eliminated the team from the championships.

of cricket.

you know - that genteel english sport where they roll a ball and bat it along the ground whilst clad in a uniform that rivals golf for geeky. his wife is quoted as indicating that she immediately suspected foul play: "I mean some of the cricketing fraternity, fans are extremely volatile and passionate about the game and what happens in the game, and also a lot of it in Asia, so I suppose there is always the possibility that it could be that (murder)"

which makes sense, of course, 'cause they're .. you know ... cricket fans.

i hear the lawn bowling world cup is off tha hook.

mardi, mars 20

we've yet to crash but we still might as well enjoy it

ok so i'm still home in bed. the headache has retreated to a dull roar behind my right eye, and i'm not nearly as achy as i was yesterday. i should be right as rain by tomorrow.

since i've been lying here with little to no concentration ability, i've been leafing through the resume book the architect purchased me a few weeks ago. as my company has been so tumultuous of late, i really need to put together a decent resume. sadly, i've never really had to job hunt too aggressively. the job i currently have i wandered into accidentally - i was assigned to this company as a temp and they kept me on. before that i worked with the university where all hiring is done through an archaic web of nepotism and reputation. add this to the fact that, for the past 2.5 years, my job has consisted of 'other duties as required' and resume writing becomes a bit of a pickle. i'm the girl who does stuff. whenever anyone asks 'who does that' and no one really does, the answer is always 'raspberry'. if i don't know how, i figure it out. this is, i assume, a valuable quality in an employee. however, it doesn't translate well into a tangible, definable skilset. le sigh.

i think i should make an appointment with a recruiter or career counsellor and just sit down and go through it with them. add this to the fact that i don't really know *what* i want to do and you have a situation nearly guaranteed to drive someone (and when i say someone i really mean me) insane.

le sigh.

thoughts? suggestions? great job openings made just for me?

lundi, mars 19

tilling my own grave

i've been in bed all day. i spent the night drenched in sweat, waking up every few minutes with a headache that was all encompassing yet oh-so-elusive. did it exist or is it just the next manifestation of my psychosis? am i sick or am i merely incapable of dealing with the outside world destined to become a shut in trapped in a prison of my own design?

i have no answers for you. how can you expect me to know what's going on? i can barely focus my eyes on the screen in front of me for long enough to tap out my cry for help. i find solace only in motion dream of running away running running down the road with the sunroof open leaving my life behind dropping off the map. do you think it is possible? do you want to come with me?

picture it - you and i dancing on a beach with everything we own shoved in a backpack a bottle of cheap red wine propped in the sand by the fire. we'll have to be drunk, of course, have to be drunk in order to deny the pathos of our situation no food no money no friends just the constant sound of the voices in my head chasing us further faster away.

samedi, mars 17

bury me at sea where no murdered ghost can haunt me

yeah i dunno what i'm doing tonight so i thought i'd post this classic shot of ciavarro and i in the spirit of the day. well i know that we are going to some sustainable living thing at the convention centre, and are then going out to do something or another, and i hope to dog that there is a vera's burger in the mix (if i didn't know better the rabid cravings i've been having for a pilgrim burger would make me suspect bun in proverbial oven but that aint the fuck the case sir, no sir not a chance).

i imagine there will be drinking.

i hope there will be debauchery.

i know there will be drunken idiots to trip over.

i'm not sure whether i will be one of them or not.

i suspect i will.

anyhoo.

i've been lapse about the blog reading lately as well. like instead of doing my daily catchup, i've been going in once or twice a week and binge-reading. that can't be good for you, can it? like they say that if you have a glass bottle or two of wine a night, it's very good for you but saving your weekly allotment for saturday nights and hittin' it large is bad for the system. it must be the same with blogging, no? (she asks, hoping for a logical reason to read blogs at work every morning). uh huh that's what i thought.

(ps that's me lying in the sunshine in sd waiting for the architect to finish work. i could get used to being a stay-at-home sextoy, my friends, i could i could)

jeudi, mars 15

first things first

san deeahhgo was awesome. i'm ready to move - i'm a sunshine girl and i can't help but be happy when i know that the grey in the sky is just morning haze and by 10.30am the sky will be nothing but blue blue blue.

the architect, however, doesn't really want to move backwards in life so we are trying to find a compromise - either an in-home tanning bed or a bunch of weekend trips. maybe both.

i'll have some photos to put up later, when i'm at home, using my new macbook (Angus MacIntoy II - Son of Angus). *does dance of joy*

the arctic monkeys are coming through vancouver in a couple of months. i was stuck in a meeting yesterday so i couldn't get the presale tickets, unfortunately, but you betta believe i'll be doing the refreshrefresh boogie on saturday at 10am.

mercredi, mars 7

Baxter! Is that you? Bark twice if you're in Milwaukee!

guess who found the camera!
well the architect, technically, but still. same difference, right? there was huge drama in the house today - the architect was pissed off & the kid was partially to blame so there was door slamming and yelling and wall punching and it was not fun all over the place. i came and hid in the bedroom and tried my best to stay out of the way. they have similar tempers, those two. le sigh. i hate arguing.

we're off to san deeahhgo today. the weather is calling for it to be sunny and lovely and warm, which is well needed and much better than here where it is supposed to be raining and nasty and gross, though not that cold, apparently.

i shall be spending the next few days (while the architect works) sunning myself and shopping. i can think of worse ways to live.

off i go!

lundi, mars 5

make a killing on the dancefloor

sometimes, on a monday morning, all you have to do to shake off your early morning blues is grab a timmy's coffee and shake your ass to a little mstrkrft.

jeudi, mars 1

it could have been, should have been

lessee what's in my mind this am.... the architect and i are going to san dee-ahhgo next week for a few days. he's got to do some site visits and put in some office time, and i need some days in the sun. i haven't checked the weather or anything yet, but as long as it isn't raining i'm going to be deeeelighted. i really have to see if i can find my camera. i will have two days to explore on my own so i need to take a bunch of pictures and post them here. i'm a bit reluctant, though, 'cause i've experienced that oh-so-common new relationship phenomenon of a few pounds gained. not that i'm an obese slob or anything - stuff's just starting to feel a bit snug. this worries me 'cause while i do enjoy the thought of a whole new wardrobe, i really do like my clothes.

plus its almost bikini season. must deal with this asap.

i'm feeling a bit better today - mentally & physically. i have mostly cleared my head of the haze and phlegm, and i had a really good chat with one of my coworkers yesterday. when i realized that he's pretty much in the same headspace i am, it really drove things home. sooooo i went out last night and got myself a book on resume writing, and one on how to pick a good career. at least it's a start, right?

ok off to work i go...