my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark

blah blah blah it's monday and i'm having one of those days where i am not sure i can go on.

go on doing what?

i don't even know i'm just overwhelmed by a sense of hopelessness and apathy. this is strange 'cause it's sunny out and usually when the weather's sunny so's my disposition but not now not today not this very moment.

did you know that china puts melamine in pet food quite regularly? i guess manufacturers purchase it because it increases nitrogen levels in food, which mimic a higher level of protein without actually impacting the nutritional value.

oh and the canadian government apparently had intelligence that warned them about the air india bombing before it happened.

oh and the canucks lost last night.

oh and

oh and

oh and

meta-free-phor-all

oh my god i laugh in your general direction, stephen colbert...

hello robin sparkles? now *this* is ironic

snoop dogg has been denied entrance to australia because of his criminal record.

heh. irony at its finest.

you know, 'cause it was a penal colony and all.

heh. anyway.

dodgeball rocked last night - a veritable barrel of laughs. both the kiddo and the architect were on fire, and i played well myself, if i do say so.. er.. myself. it's funny how team spirit really affects you - the more fun that people are having, the more fun you have. it really is contagious. not to mention the fact that the stupider and clumsier i am, the more people laugh at me, and the better time they have. so, really, i'm not a shitty dodgeball player, i'm on a one-woman mission to make sure that everyone around me laughs all night long. yeah, that's it.

ahem.

carry on....

what's that dido song about the bad day? yeah that's me

so between the architect and the cat, who were both completely buh-jiggity all night, i got little to no sleep. but... still had to go to work, so suck it up and start getting ready. as i spritz body spray into the air, i let go a big sneeze, so inhale a mouthful. hack, hack, wheeze, gasp... on my way out the door i grab an orange for breakfast and shove it in my bag. traffic was average, but i missed 'stump the show' on the fox (always a giggle). get in this morning, pour myself a cup of coffee, and notice that i've *not* noticed that there was 2 inches of water left in the bottom of my cup from yesterday. fuck. oh well too lazy to go to the kitchen so weak coffee. pull my orange out of the bag, peel away, take a bite and - what's this? it's old, dry, and bitter. fun. have to go to the kitchen now *any*way to make toast. toaster is acting up so i get mostly warmed over dry bread. take a bite and choke.

le sigh.

if you ever have to knock on wood

so between 5.30 and 6am this morning they played two rancid songs. ok one of them was that faux rancid song snippetted above, but the other was timebomb which is guaranteed to get my booty shaking in the shower, let me tell you.

ok ok canucks, stars, i told you so they won let's move on. nobody likes that guy so i'll leave it at that. i'll give you my prediction on the next series when it starts. in all honesty, i spent half of that game with my eyes covered and a giant knot in the pit of my belly - if it weren't for bobby lu we would have lost for sure. hell - let's not kid. if it weren't for him we wouldn't have been there in the first place.

have i mentioned my pending holly-day? the architect and i are driving to san diego for a week. i'm rather excited, especially considering the fact that i get a paycheque whilst there. much more fun to be somewhere and actually have some extra cashflow. fun treats for me, fun treats for the architect, fun treats for the sister... i heart shopping. i heart lying on the beach more, but i do heart shopping.

canucks 4, dallas 1

told ya so.

seriously

someone found this blog by googling 'dave grohl's tongue'. if i had dave grohl's tongue do you think i'd be wasting my time writing this? heck no, i say heck no. i'd be lying back in a patch of sunshine, sipping a cocktail and enjoying all the pleasures that dave grohl's tongue has to offer.

and i'd definately take pictures of *that*.

got canned heat in my heels tonight bay-bee

so i dunno about *your* part of the lower mainland, but in my little section of the world yesterday was gloriously sunny all day. i walked to the market, walked back hobbling under the weight of too many groceries (what is it about sunny days that makes me spend too much money on food?), then lounged in the sunshine with a good book before bbq'ing steaks for deener.

lalala what else did i do with my weekend? hmmm well we helped the sister get the rest of her stuff out of her condo (it finally sold, the lucky financially solvent bitch), set up the bbq and deck chairs, oooo i know - we went to see the giants play on friday. it was nice to see at least 1 of vancouver's hockey teams show up and play the game. not naming any names of any other teams (ahem, rhymes with sucks) of course.

mind you, i guess i did predict a win in seven, didn't i?

pop culture ponderings for monday:
1) tim armstrong's new song is (dare i say it) not good. there - i said it. it's done.
2) go read this. funny shit man, funny shit.

tales from another broken

ok so yesterday i went to the army&navy shoe sale. for those of you who don't live in vancouver, this sale is one of the highlights of the gvrd shopping year. it's seriously legendary. anyhoo - this was the second year in a row where i haven't bought anything. it's sad but true. now, i did find a pair that i loved - saddle brown bcbg heels with a slightly rounded toe, 3-inch railroad spike style heels - but they didn't have my size. it may be worth a second trip maybe tomorrow to take another looky-loo, but then maybe not. le sigh.

the architect had the audacity to suggest that maybe i'm not interested in shoes anymore. can you imagine the cheek? sheesh. just 'cause a girl's had a couple of off visits to the shoe store....

i should go out today and buy four new pairs. that'll learn'im.


edit - red house blues by jimi hendrix is on innerweb radio and it is so perfect so perfect for my mood i can't even tell you. it's a slow sleepy friday morning full of sunshine and anticipation for the weekend: hockey game tonight lazy saturday maybe plant some flowers in the pots on my deck definately drink some wine... oh they're following it up with stevie ray life is so good

here lies janey purplepants

so j-mo is shutting down his blog. i'll be more than sad to see him go - for a while he seemed to be my male counterpart. of course, lately, we've wandered our separate ways - kind of like a fuck buddy who you spend lots of time with before drifting apart. it makes me a little sad inside, but it's the way of it, i guess. i find that even i have trouble coming up with stuff to talk about every day (as you may have noticed) and my dull content is starting to show - fewer comments, reduced hits. this makes me sad because i do really enjoy the back and forth give and take aspects of my little bloggity, but i just don't have the time to devote to it that i used to.

plus, and i am a bit ashamed to admit this, but i have completely tempered the way i write out of respect for the architect. not that he cares whether i put up half naked pictures of myself, but i figure it's only a matter of time before some if *his* friends who blog stumble upon this one and i'd hate for him to be embarrassed in any way because of it, you know? so is it even my blog anymore? can i find away to bring it back to being my own space, or is there another path i should follow - here or somewhere else?

i was catching up on my blog reading yesterday and caught ct overdrive's post from saturday about the decline of blogging and the rise of facebook and its ilk. blogging has peaked, he says, and for people who don't have the time or inclination to come up with decent content, facebook is a great place to post pictures of yourself and your friends getting tanked of a weekend, or pass quick notes back and forth, or whatever.

i don't want my journal to become another facebook. i don't want this to be a place where i come and spatter half thought out ideas and non sequiturs. i'm just not sure how to get it back to where i want it to be. maybe i'm too far gone. i need some help - what can i do?

there and back again

ok so on saturday we took an impromptu roadtrip to penticton for the festofales - a two day long beer festival. think lots of drunk early twentisomethings and late teensomethings mixed with drunk older biker style folk come down from god knows where - had we been in the gvrd i would have assumed surrey or chilliwack. interesting people watching, let me tell you.

anyhoo, spent the night in k-town, cruised some wineries on sunday and headed back last night. not bad for a weekend, especially since the sun stayed out the entire time.

so anyway we were listening to the game on the radio - we missed most of the first period 'cause (sadly) we don't have satellite radio, but caught the second and were at home in time to watch the third. i swear to god that, listening to the radio, you would have thought the only canuck on the ice was luongo. it was really, really sad. fortunately the rest of the team showed up in time for the third and they managed to squeak out a win. i don't know kids - unless they pick up the pace they ain't gonna make it much beyond the first round.

at least minnesota is nearly down for the count...

the mozzarella stick before the chicken fettucini, girl

i have no idea how to spell fettuccine. next.

so i've succumbed to the three or four manymany friend requests i've had to join facebook. i mean, there was such a deluge of invitations how could i possibly resist? seriously. anyhoo, i'm trying it on for size. i couldn't really get into myspace, for some reason, i was all about the blogger and it just seemed like an iffy substitute, but facebook - now this is networking! getting in touch with highschool friends and confidantes! people who i couldn't stand for years are now able to get in touch with me and say hello through the wonders of the internet, rather than just grab my tits (the guys) or call me a slut (the girls after the guys had grabbed my tits) in the hall! i'm so excited.

anyhoo, yeah. i joined but it's under my real name. shoot me an email if you have also given in to the latest social scourge and i'll send you a friend request.

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ok on to hockey. did anyone see the game (and when i say The Game i naturally refer to any game in which the canucks were playing) last night? bobby lu stopped something like 72 shots on net in what ended up being the 6th longest game in nhl history. i will admit to dozing through most of the overtime periods, waking up when the architect was especially vocal beside me, so i did get to see the winning goal. yay me.

i predict vancouver in seven.

The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.

RIP kurt vonnegut

will wonders never cease

when i arrived at work this morning for the first time in 5 days, there was still candy left in my easter basket. now, if i were still sitting in the 'office' area and not in production, this would absosmurfley not be the case.

in other worlds, i apologize for not being around all weekend however i had to jet down to the bahamas in order to be on the front lines for the anna nicole baby daddy decision. i was in the running, of course, to be the father of the child. you cannot imagine my disappointment. i'm crushed - believe me. i may never recover. i imagine you all feel the same way, since, let's not kid, we *all* had as much likelihood of being the sperm donor as ZsaZsa's husband, or even the creepy lawyer guy.

i have no idea why i'm thinking about this.

oompa paloompa paloompa pa mau mau

how is it that i've never listened to architecture in helsinki before? i just didn't *know*. so light, so ethereal, so perfect for my present mood of anticipating 22degrees and sunshine on my front deck wearing shorts and a tank top. yes please.

i do need to get some groceries, and a couple of things for the architect and the kiddo for easter, but other than that i have no real plans for the next five days and i heart that a great deal. well except for watching my man gsp kick some ass in the ufc tomorrow. other than that, nada mes amis, nada.

so i played dodgeball again last night - we joined a league and last night took the kiddo with us. he's quite hooked as well. last week was less fun - it seemed like everyone was taking it way too seriously and i'm not nearly competitive enough for that crapola. last night, however, was seriously fun and i laughed my but off all evening.

can we revisit the fact that there are people who take dodgeball seriously? sort of invokes ben stiller in spandex, no? uh huh - ponder that for a mo.

anyhoo, i'm off to read my book. what other bands haven't i heard of?

treading trodden trails for a long, long time

so last week on FOF (fuck off friday) i discovered cracked. ok i may be the last one on the boat but i spent a very enjoyable day wasting time laughing away quietly in my little corner of the office. i turned it into one of my tabs and, this morning, flipped over to read this and had to wipe the tears from my eyes:

This is everything that's wrong with the modern media in one convenient image, for the busy modern person who needs to lose faith in humanity 'on the go'. A website dedicated to the commercials which prevent you from watching the programs on television. This is why technology hasn't done all the things it promised to, like curing cancer or constructing Killbots programmed to travel back in time and kill Steve Martin sometime after Dirty Rotten Scoundrels but before Bringing Down the House. A site dedicated to the very best in ads is like a drink brewed for the very finest of hangovers— they're focusing on a horrible unwanted side-effect and a head-injury inspired decision somewhere has somehow made it the point.

Worse, they're targeting the most annoying demographic on the planet: the "I only watch it for the ads" vacuum-headed smirkers. This is a public service announcement: SAYING YOU DO NOT LIKE SOMETHING POPULAR DOES NOT MAKE YOU INDIVIDUAL AND EDGY. It makes you dumbass— at least the unoriginal hooting herd enjoy the damn game. You're being equally unoriginal, dumber, and deliberately spending time to point out how you don't like it. Do you think a monkey that repeatedly eats stones and complains about it is the "cool, unique" monkey in among his friends? No, he's the stupid one even in a group whose main hobbies are masturbating in public and throwing shit at each other.

i had a long-running argument with a friend all through university about populist media. he had very strong ideas on the nature of 'good' music and 'good' literature. he refused to believe you could find quality or engage in active critical reading of most things present in pop culture: action movies, pop music or metal, mystery novels etc. as an aside, i wonder how he'd feel about the current popularity of the new modest mouse single? actually scratch that - he'd just say they'd sold out.*

i'm of the opinion that you can read a harlequin romance actively - approach it critically and pay attention to what is going on and what it says about society - and get more out of it than if you read, say, david foster wallace or vikram seth, or even shakespeare the way that most people read it. oprah's book club is great but if the people reading the texts don't participate in the dialogue the author is constructing between the novel and the world then they may as well be staring at a blank wall for all they are getting out of it.

furthermore, setting yourself *apart* from the mainstream by refusing to admit that you like the things that the mainstream embraces doesn't make you special, or better - it just makes you as closed-minded as a fundamentalist preacher running for senate and about as interesting. don't get me wrong - i agree that people have individual tastes and some people *don't* like popular music or movies or literature or whatever but, as someone who spent a long time in the academic world and so is rather familiar with elitist pomposity, i think that people who summarily reject *ALL* popular media are as shallow intellectually as the common masses.

i admit it - i have advanced education in literature and media and i love mystery novels. i like watching tv now and again, and love to watch hockey. i love to listen to the radio and i get really excited when a band i like becomes popular (though i'm always sad when i can't see the bands in small clubs anymore, and have to go to cavernous hockey arenas). there - i've said it. i dig pop culture. come on - say it with me. it's kinda liberating.




* saying a formerly 'alternative' or unknown band has sold out because they've achieved some level of mainstream success is a sure-fire way to throw me off on a fiery tangent of venom and proselytizing. they didn't sell out. it's the nature of the parent culture to absorb a subculture and adopt its tastes and characteristics - this is how fashion changes and evolves.

cast off the crutch that kills the pain

ok so i want to know what weather report jeff o'neil reads 'cause when i got up this morning he was talking about how it's going to be sunny and 18 on friday, but everything i've read says rain. i don't want rain on the long weekend - i want sunshine and happiness and to be able to stretch out on the lawn and read a book and warm my belly like a lizard on the rocks.

next question: crap, i know i had one. man this is like when you go sit on santa's knee and he asks you what you want for christmas, but you totally freeze up and can only spit out socks and underwear when really what you want is a Red Ryder Ranger Model Air Rifle. who the fuck really wants socks and underwear for christmas? (well me sometimes but really am i seriously going to tell santa that? i don't think so.)

so what's up - any plans for easter weekend? we had thought about heading down to oregon, but have decided to stay home and be lazy instead. this home maintenance thing sucks - i hate having to run around all weekend doing errands and cleaning and mowing lawns and and and. i just want to lie about, preferably in the sun (yes, yes i said that, i know), and do nothing really. well maybe have brunch somewhere downtown or something like that but really nothing too high pressure or requiring any energy whatsoever. what i really need is a manservant. any applicants?

oh and ps - guess who got a white blackberry pearl to play with? i love technology....