Dude.

So I'm going to Vancouver tonight and I wish there was some way I could drop 10 el-bees off my gut/face/tits between now and then. Since I've moved here I've gained easily that much and I want it gone.

Sadly, though, I lack the drive to actually get out and run my ass around the town, so it's probably not going anywhere.

The problem with facebook and its ilk is that a)you get weird feelings when you see what your ex-boy/girlfriends are doing and b)you can see how hot and skinny you USED to be.

Let's address those issues, shall we?

a) The exboyfriends. I think that people get into trouble because the grass is always greener. You have some poor shlub/shlubbette who can see that Mr/Ms ex is looking good and happy and they forget that they're flatulent, boorish bedhogs. We have weird access into the lives of people who should be left behind. They aren't the ones who got away, they are the ones you left in your wake for a reason. BTW - I'm not addressing myself here, in case some of you are concerned. I mean, I do have odd twinges when I see one or two of the exes looking good, but I think that's pretty normal. I'm thinking of a friend who re-connected with someone recently and ended up rushing into the emotional side of stuff, without much provocation. Her girly brain took over, she read things into their communication, and she basically lived out a relationship in her brain, without him having a clue. Bummer.

b) Fuck I used to be hot and skinny. Now I'm fat & heiferlike. Dude, seriously. It really is depressing the heck out of me. So what do I do? Why, soothe myself with wine and chocolate, of course. Fuck. FUCK. I would like to get a gastric band, or take some diet pills or something. I can't get my ass up to exercise - I hate that shit I really do - and starving myself is even harder. I actually miss my allergies - at least when I was puking everything up I was skinny. Sigh.

Oh yeah I know it's been a month. Sorry. I have problem B with the blog, too - it's like I go back and remember how hot and witty I used to be and now I find myself lacking. I'm having fucked up self esteem issues with both my meat world and wide world personas. Nice, huh?