Gut check time (result - soft and squishy and unhappy)

As I lounged at the park yesterday I had to stop and contemplate wtf has happened to my life. A year ago I was broke but really pretty fucking happy. The architect and I had a great relationship, I was bored as hell sitting at home all the time but I felt like I had a home, at least.

Now, though, the architect and I are separated and don't know if we can work things out. I have a job that I mostly really enjoy but pays a pittance so I'm faced with finding a new apartment (can't afford the rent at Chateau Wyatt Earp on my own)so will still be broke, but am not happy and don't feel like I have a home.

How the fuck did I end up here? I'm 38 years old. I miss my family, especially my kid. Why can't I be happy? What is fucking wrong with me?

Home sick today because I woke up with a stress headache at 4am. Took some painkillers but they hurt my stomach so here I am.