when i raise my trigger finger

All you fuckers hit the deck.

Man what a weird night last night ended up being. I don't even know how to begin to describe it really, but it did end with a (former) friend punching the couchsurfer in the face with a pint glass.

No real way for a friendship to come back after that. I mean, the couchsurfer has his flaws, but he is my friend and I love him, and he's held me while I was deep in the jungle of my own head and all I could think of was throwing myself off an overpass. Don't care what he said to piss her off - you don't hit your friend's friend in the face with a glass just 'cause they aren't your cup of tea. Fucked up, dude.

It's actually been an all-around weird day. I barely got out of bed, arising for dinner and the hockey game, and that was basically it. Don't talk about the game, please, I can't take it right now.

For some reason I decided it'd be a good idea to go through my archives reading and ended up watching my relationship with the architect unfold. I kinda relived all the good times and the excitement and now I'm feeling super blue. His new girlfriend is visiting this weekend, so he's not around. Plus, you know, his new girlfriend.

That combined with the clusterfuck of yesterday evening just leaves me feeling a bit anti-social. I'm not sure how to cope. Well you know, other than throwing myself off the aforementioned overpass.

I wish I could remember how to write. I need to practice more.