Me & Emily

I'm feeling a little Bronte today, and am lying here in my pjs with a glass of juice and a plate full of hummus and pita chips. There will surely be crumbs in the bed, but I'll blame the architect and no one will be the wiser.

Right?

Anyway so I've been flipping through old blog posts and checking out people who used to comment. Most of them have gone away - blogs and all - yet I'm still here. I wonder where they all went? Did they get bored with their current situations and begin new ones? Did they just give up the innerweb, bored with blogging and its plebian sameness? I wonder....

Rollcall:
newly single
dean simon, aka the farmer in the deli
ridley
write hard

There are more....

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My gmail status is 'insufficient madness'. Someone who knows me from now not then inquired. What's insufficient, he asked? Seems like the world has enough. I pointed out that it's really just a comment on how I feel as though I can't write worth shit when I'm not batshit insane. Almost worth going off the meds for, no?

happy blog-day

that's the first photo i ever posted of myself - one year ago today. it's funny, isn't it, what changes a year can bring? (warning - i'm feeling a little emotional 'cause i haven't taken my meds in .. well long enough to feel the effects, but not long enough to have brain shivers)

three years ago in the sanatorium: "this would be my first attempt at this. i am, if you will, a blog virgin. i've been thinking about the wierdness of connecting with people on the internet. it's not like i have trouble meeting people in *real* life-- i am just fascinated by the sheer volume of people that i have no other way of coming in contact with. does this make me a bit of a tart? hmm i wonder."

it's funny, 'cause even as i wrote those words, three years ago, i never thought anything would ever come of this meeting people on line thing. i never really thought i'd develop virtual relationships with like-minded human beings all around the world - people whom, even though i've never really *MET* them, i still miss when i don't hear from them / check in on what's up in their worlds. i wish that i head the means to send plane tickets to him and him, and her and him, and him and everyone else here to have a big party in my house with lots of drinks and stories and drunken teary-eyed confessions and laughter and more drinks. i wish i could, but i can't. the thought is there, though, and the invitation is open - we have an extra bedroom, and some couches, and a kickass purple chaise and they all are open to you, all of you, where-ever you are if you feel like a holiday or a break and head my way.

and, less than a year ago, i met this great guy online. he's incredible, the architect, and, while he may raise an eyebrow if i were to announce that a whole bunch of blog people were coming to visit, would never question it or anything else. he'd just sigh, pat me on the head, and check to see if anyone had bothered to dust the spare room since the *last* time someone came to stay. we're going away on friday. but in the next couple of days i'll try to put together some of my favourite memories of the past year - whether they're good or bad, they are what they are and they made an impact on me. i'd like to hear yours, too, if you don't mind, but whatevs.

xo