yeah so?

maybe i am getting old.
wtf i don't care.

the thought of going to farina tonight and morcheeba and then bt tomorrow night just sounded... meh.

it's not like i don't love farina and don't always have a great time when i go, it's just that essjay isn't here and i am not sure how it would go without her. even last week at sharam all i kept thinking was how weird it is without the vancity crew. i know i have to get over it it's just.

just.

tonight the architect is snoring on the couch at 9.30pm. he works really hard and i fed him a whole bunch of wine when he got home. then we went down the road for dinner with tony dancer and drank some more. i came home and yakked it all up ('cause what would dinner be without a yak or two by me) (seriously - i think i should get a refund for every restaurant meal i puke) so i'm dead sober.

yeah i'm a bad blogger but i've worked all week with little/no innerweb access till i get home and when i do get home i gots da other craps to do. sue me.

no don't.

xo

stairs

i have these recurring facets of my dreams where i'm climbing something - stairs, a hill, what have you - and just as i'm about to reach the top my legs stop working and i can't climb anymore. it's like they just collapse underneath me and am pulling myself up with my arms. it's not a pleasant feeling, and it tends to carry itself into my waking life.

anyway.... so some of you may recall that my crazyexboyfriend was a hairdresser and i spent a couple years of my life as his unpaid servant (ran the kitchen in his cafe; was his salon assistant). anyhoo... for the next two weeks i'm working as a salon assistant up the road. when i went to meet'n'greet a manicurist for a wedding day treat for the sister, my mama and i, we got to chatting and it turned out the salon she works in needed a temporary underthetable type person to do some vacation coverage. it pays ten bux an hour and cash so i said heck yeah. at the end of yesterday they paid me for the few hours i've been filling in (like 5 or something). it was a really awesome feeling - walking home from a day of work with cash in hand. we went and bought wine and groceries with money i'd earned and i felt super happy and awesome. yeah i've done a couple of the cruiseship things but for some reason this felt like real work. just different. i guess i'm really not cut out to have a sugar daddy. i like paying my own way.

young dumb don't see a problem

one of the classic stories of my childhood is the time that my parents took us over to a house party. i, a wannabe foodie even at the tender age of 4, helped myself to several shrimp from a platter and promptly vomited all over the place.

i'm such a joy to bring to parties.

anyhoo, fastforward to wednesday night. a new friend is a former sushi chef and wanted to come over and cook a salmon tasting menu for the architect and i. one of the appetizers was chopped salmon tartare stuffed in a mushroom and topped with a jumbo shrimp. i ate one because i was trying to be polite - if you have gone out with me or cooked for me, you know that i rarely eat seafood or shellfish or anything (firm believer in the fact that just because it lives underwater doesn't mean it's not a bug). hop skip and jump again to 4am at which time i awoke, with a burning pain in my belly. i promptly started to yak and continued to do so until 8am, at which point the architect took me to the hospital (the er at scripps-mercy has a lovely clean ladies room, by the way, but those in the bowl air fresheners are murder on the lungs when you have your head stuck in there. i can *still* smell fake flower grandma perfume, i swear.)

a bunch of tests later, they put me on an IV of saline, supplemented with a shot of anti-nauseant and dilaudid and sent me on my way. yay narcotics!

i've been drunk since i left

so one of the folks i've met down here is this super cool vietnamese fellow who sings like dean martin. i know this is improbably and/or incongruous, but there it is. i've tried, on more than one occasion, to teach him home for a rest which is possibly the ultimate canadian drinking song. he's doing pretty well - got the tune and now just needs the lyrics down.

strangely this is the one song that i can sing without sounding like a cat that someone is using as bagpipes.

anyhoo - the architect, pho and i ended up at an irish pub last night discussing the probability of intent in the naming of various asian-type restaurants. anyone who's lived in or visited vancouver in the past ten years has probably seen pho bch nga which used to be at the corner of kingsway & victoria. pronounced phonetically, it's always worth a giggle in mixed company. ditto fuku roku. i figure that it's probably a decent sense of humour at play - why not fuck with the white folk? he figures it's not like that though... and apparently bch nga means something to do with being russian. who knew?

the episode in which raspberry tries to get back to regular blogging, and learns a valuable lesson

ok maybe no lessons. i'm too old for that sheet. i'm also too old for douchebags. heh. last night we were out watching some new friend-type folk dj at a lounge nearby and someone said something about san diego being very conservative. i haven't noticed that, since when we first moved here we lived near and spent all our time in the primary gay neighbourhood, and then promptly rented an apartment in the heart of the secondary gay community of san-dee. not so much conservativism round these parts. our companions said something about not spending any time in pb or the gaslamp, to which i replied that i'm too old to be bothered wasting my time on people who are more interested in fashion than being good to their fellow human beings.

not that there is anything wrong with fashion - i enjoy it myself rather immensely - it's just not a huge priority for me anymore, you know? maybe it never was. i've always had my own version of style.


speaking of sheets - how awesome are wedding present giftcards? currently i'm lounging between 500 thread count wonders paid for by some of the architect's extended family. i heart that.

(heh - i can see my male readers rolling their eyes and yawning at this post, by the way - sorry guys...)

been drinking since half past noon

so i'm married. who'da thunk it? not i said the fly.

i did, however, get *loaded* on my wedding night. like drunk as i haven't been drunk in a long time. the kiddo was joking how he's never seen anyone need to hold on to *everything* on their way out of the lounge. i countered with the fact that i was wearing 3.5" stilettos and dared him to give walking a shot after god knows how much wine and champagne. i did manage to avoid passing out long enough to consummate the marriage once we got back to the hotel room. i was shocked and dismayed to see that there was no evidence of it on the sheet though - someone out there may have doubted my purity. fortunately the hotel staff had sprinkled rose petals around on the bed so i could fake it.

heh.

today is the greatest

dude i'm getting married today...

workin on a mystery

so yesterday i had to sit down and create an excel spreadsheet that basically tracked my movements from this morning onwards - straight through to sunday morning. i included meal plans and shopping lists, and sent it to the architect for printing.

he was bemused - he assumed that (other than our three pm date with destiny) we were going to wing the whole weekend.

heh.

i was telling this little story to my mama and she apologized - i apparently get this obsessive need to organize and schedule from her. i mean, it's not like i'm planning on rigidly following it - in fact i haven't even looked at it since he brought it home - it's just that i find it extremely soothing to have it all written down. it sorts things out in my head to put them down on paper.

hence the bloggity, i suppose.

----------------

yesterday, on one of the talk threads i participate in, someone posted the topic - what's your dream job (money skills talent no object). it was interesting to me to see how many people aren't doing what they really want to be doing. and it's not like i am - here i am with days upon days of free time. i could be writing. i *should* be writing. in reality i hang out and surf the internet, read trashy novels, and clean the house. this time is kind of a gift that i'm wasting. i had all these goals for when i moved here and not really any of them has been fulfilled. i wonder if i just need some kind of structure - like is there a book or something that acts as a tool to help discipline you to write every day? like a writing class between the covers kind of thing?

i wonder.

i'm going where-ever it leads (warning - the post ahead will involve discussion of impending nuptuals)

so the wedding dress has landed and fits like the proverbial glove. not oj's glove, it's true, but a much nicer, ivory 100% silk glove. and that's all i'll say about that.

oh and i might be listening to the new constantines album. i had to acquire it through not-quite-kosher means 'cause it's not out in the us of a until the end of april. who can wait that long?

man so far (and I'm knocking on wood so repeatedly over here that the cat is all puffed up, legs akimbo, standing in the middle of the room staring at me) things are going pretty smoothly (last minute cold feet and jitters aside). the architect's tux is rented. my dress is altered and in house. restaurant reservations are made (with concessions made for yours truly the chef's nightmare) and the menu has been prepared. after party space is set up. hotel reservations are made. manicure appointments - check. saucy shoes - check. crazy sd folks invited to the afterparty - check.

we had originally planned on making cds for favours, but i think we are going to hold off on doing that until the reception. there are places where you can get the blank discs screened but it's way cheaper if you do it in lots of like 100. so for this event, i think i'm going to make cookies and put our little logo on it.

mind you, i'm seriously running out of time at this point so who really knows?

running down a dream

the architect and i had a huge fight last night and now i just want to die. it's been mostly resolved but i just feel like he completely resents me and having to support me and all this shit and i want to crawl under a rock right now, or more appropriately go running away home.

i was hanging out with a couple of people yesterday afternoon and we'd been joking about getting loaded on the stoop like white trash warriors (though we ended up just having a few beer and bs-ing for a couple of hours) and, as the day wore on, the architect got more and more pissed off about that. all this time he's been encouraging me to go out with friends and not stay home by myself during the day, and i've felt super guilty about doing that. so yesterday i did and sure enough he freaked out and now i feel so fucking awful.

i can't help but think he'd be happier and better off without me. he wouldn't have to work so much and he could do his own thing and go back to motorcycle racing and having tonnes of money and and and.

gonna wash that man

(please allow raspberry a moment as she shudders with pleasure)

dude, i forgot.

since my crazyexboyfriend and i parted ways, i've had a female hairdresser. and you know, she was pretty good: she kept up with her education and was always willing to experiment on my hair, but she was still pretty conservative and that was reflected in her style.

plus, she was a girl.

yesterday, i checked out a salon down the street. i had my hair cut by a guy for the first time in 5 years. sure he was a gay guy but it's *different* i swear. and he's got skills - you can tell the way he holds his scissors, the way he turns the hair not the hand to change the angle of the cut and therefore the way the hair will fall. it's awesome to sit there, tell him that i need a bit of length so i can updo next weekend and that's it. he takes over and even though he's running behind, gives a great cut.

this is going to be the longest 8 weeks of my life...

politics of dancing

not that this furthers my 'lose weight' cause in any way, shape or form, but i went out drinking (again) last night.

well specifically, we went out and had a burger for dinner, and then went to see Forgetting Sarah Marshall. oh my god how i laughed. i mean i *heart* marshall in himym - to see him starring in something that he's written, something that is so infused with his character (wipes single tear)... just great.

warning - there is a lot of male full frontal nudity. marshall's no slouch in this area, so the ladies in the room were happy with this situation. there was, however, a lot of uncomfortable shifting from the hetero men in the group.

after the movie we went to the bar around the corner from the theatre for drinks and late night snacks (also not good for the waist). man i just need to stop drinking for the next week - if i can stop drinking i'll stop late night snacking and it will be all good. plus, no booze baby.

ok like that's going to happen.

i seriously do need to cut back on the drinking, though. i need to make a conscious effort to say 'no' to opening the second bottle of wine every evening, unless it's a special occasion. that's right - we've been downing 2 bottles every night, pretty much since we moved down here. i said it before and i imagine i'll say it again: i have no idea how californians aren't all raging alcoholics. we simply couldn't afford it in canada.

something else besides a silvery part

dude i feel like i'm getting fat. like when i went to try on dresses (non-specific dresses! really! i promise! no occasion impending (like doom) at all!) this week i was all bloaty from booze and monthly and mexican food so i was gi*NOR*mous. that's kind of all fading and i've actually *lost* weight since moving but i feel as though it's all going pear shaped.

so i've been making a concerted effort to get out walking - on friday we were out for 3.5 hours down at torrey pines climbing the bluffs and walking on the beach. yesterday (in the midst of errands) i walked 4.5miles. and today, i walked up and down a hill.

but not just *any* hill - it's the hill on texas street. the hill that's well known as an angry bitch among sd cyclists and runners. i made myself a fun little mix, put on my shortyshorts and set out to conquer that bitch.

oh and i did it, my friends, i did it and got back to the house just in time to yak up my breakfast.

tomorrow, if i can walk, i will be sure to eat *after* i get home.

heh.

grease is the word

just as long as the word is not wedding (or so I've been told)...... welll heck it's not my fault - i'm deeply obsessed, at the moment, and can't see much beyond the flowers and dress alterations.

so saturday night my long lost sister and went down to the aero bar on india street - that's the spot that i discovered the joys of sunday night drinking. they were throwing some kind of party for people who use yelp. yelp's nothing in canada (though it should be) but it's huge down here - kind of like myspace but with a function. check it out yourselfs.

i was drunk when i got there - like we'd (and let's not kid it was mostly me) drank two bottles of wine before leaving the house - so when we arrived and they started handing out whiskey shots who'm I to say no? so of course as it is when i get this way, flirty raspberry comes out to play and i'm all huggy and stuff and i'm not sure my friend has ever seen me this way... but whatevs it's all good and then all of a sudden i'm *too* drunk to be there anymore.

so of course we step outside and pay the pizza delivery guy $20 to take us home. why settle for a taxi ride when you can risk life and limb being delivered in 30minutes or less? fucking hell now i know why sometimes when you get your 'za the toppings have all travelled over to one side of the pie. i seriously didn't think i was going to make it home - and really i would have taken death as long as i didn't yak the contents of my belly all over the back of that pizza soiled chariot to hell.

i don't know why you say goodbye i say

Oh.
hello, blog.

it's been a fun filled week of visitor and wedding pree-paration. yes just one visitor but heck - she's worth a few at a time.

which is to say that i am hungover, but i have a wedding dress. the original plan of having a friend make it sort of went to the wayside - the timeline is just too short to go ahead with something like that.

soooo when out shopping yesterday we wandered into BCBG and found a marylin monroe style halter dress in sort of a cream colour. i'm very excited... it needs to be altered a tad but that's easy enough to do. and now... onto shoe shopping!

excess ain't rebellion

i'm trying to keep this wedding thing under control - i really am. this week i have a dress fitting, a cake discussion meeting, and apparently need to send out *real* invitations to the first wedding even though only wanted to do an announcement combined with an invitation to the reception. hmph.

so the architect and i were stranged in hermosa beach this weekend. as people keep saying - there are *definately* worse places to be stranded, but once you've checked out of your hotel room and have to keep schlepping around becoming slowly more and more sunburnt, you eventually just want to go home.

especially when you find yourself eating canned-filling apple pie and drinking cut-rate tea in a denny's by the service shop because your feet hurt and you just want to sit down and have really really stooped this far it's true *sob*.

ahem.

anyhoo.

so yeah we were kind of worried about le chat 'cause we've never left him alone overnight before. he was, of course, fine and barely noticed our absence, i'm sure. i'm still exhausted 'cause it was kind of emotionally draining and because i walked about a billion miles yesterday (no seriously - a billion) and just don't want to get out of bed. le sigh - I suppose that I should, though, because i need to track down a notebook or something so that i can start keeping track of the stuff i need to keep track of... grrr.

it's a good thing that i was once a project manager because i'm sure not naturally organized.

work and love will make a man out of you

who knew this frickin' wedding business was so much work? i thought we'd find a place, get a reservation at a restaurant, i'd buy a dress and hey-presto! we're hitched let's get LOADED!

apparently not, though. first off, did you know that for your flowers, you can't actually just pick flowers that you like, they also have to be IN SEASON? i thought you could just walk into a florists shop and pretty much buy anything at any time. isn't that why they have greenhouses, these days?

i think part of the problem is that i signed up for this website called 'the knot' and it has these huge checklists of stuff to do, along with a timeline for when they need to be done. right off the bat i had over 150 items overdue - it doesn't take into account the fact that this isn't a wedding wedding. however, as soon as i saw all of those exclamation points i started to get stressed oooooot.

oh there's a new city & colour album - it's really good.

blogging romania

i just watched anthony bourdain eat a pig snout in a crazy victorian-themed restaurant somewhere in romania.

keep in mind that i do this only for maktaaq. she hasn't got cable, you see, and so i told her i'd take this one for the team.

heh.

i'll talk tomorrow about a paper plate with a ground meat kebab (who knew romanian food was so middle eastern) and a pickle. until then, think about how drunk i got last night with my new sunday night cohorts, and how much pasta i ate.

i will be fat in moments, if not seconds - hold tight and watch me bloat.

xo

lazy sundae wake up in the late... well morning but still

oh i'm sorry for the absentee blogger syndrome. what can i say? i'm a terrible hostess. even worse, i have very little time for you this morning - i'm off to give a tour to a bride and groom of the wedding i'm coordinating the week after my own.

heh that's so weird to say. it's kind of like all of a sudden i'm in this club. a club with buhjillions of members, 'tis true, but a club nonetheless.

yesterday was the architect's bday, so we went out and grabbed some dinner with his old friend from motorcycle racing, then headed over to the aero for drinks. oh and more drinks. and more drinks. i played the 'wander away from the cocktail' game so that i was in better shape than most, but the architect was kit-n-kaboodled. his coffee is sitting on the bedside table beside him, but he just kind of opened one eye and groaned. poor guy has to go to some meetings today... it's cool 'cause through the magic of the innerweb i've managed to meet some cool people here. yay for starting to make friends!


---------------------------------------------------

i heard the other day that the lightbulb factory let go of a bunch more people - a couple of whom i considered friends - and that makes me sad, but at the same time so happy to not be there anymore.

wrasslin

dude let me tell you now - ric flair is alive and well and still fighting in the WWE. i know this because last night i was there. i probably don't strike you as the type who'd be into that sort of thing, and heck, let's not kid i don't strike *myself* as that sort, but we were given tickets so we went.

i was deaf for 2 hours after the pyrotechnics.

my overall response was sort of bewilderment - it's such a huge production and people are *so* into it. just not my cup of tea, i guess. there used to be a blog regular here who was deep into it. i wish he were still around so i could talk to him but there you are.

the crowd was hugely predominantly mexican - i'll admit that my knowledge of mexican wrasslin stems entirely from nacho libre but i think it's fairly big in that culture.

i was also stricken by how *theatrical* it is - every action and movement is so exaggerated: the players are communicating with the crowd with every gesture; their characters are clearly defined and they play to their roles and to the crowds reactions.

it was kind of neat.

and here is a picture of my cat for no reason at all.