I have

A belly full of harp beer and chips smothered in curry with mushrooms and faux meat.

This is a good thing.

That is all.

If Thursdays were like underpants

So now that we're officially not going home for the holidays, I'm trying to figure out what a SoCal Christmas looks like.

Metaphorically, dumbass - I know that the streets will be mostly empty except for legions of Family Trucksters loaded up with kids and gifts and reindeer sweater clad parents and that it will probably be warm and sunny (though you'd never know it considering the rain of the last few days) and that there will be lights and trees and the smell of turkey will resonate from beneath kitchen doors.

Metaphorically. Who will we see? Will we have fun? Will it be kinda sad and lonely?

I've started making some plans - we're having dinner xmas eve with the architect's aunt & uncle (will they let me bring tourtiere? I must!) and we have a pajama brunch planned for the day of. We've also started trying to figure out how to video conference present opening with the family back home.

The alternative plan is for me to drink till I pass out and spend the entire season in an alcoholic stupor. I have to tell you - right now I'm seriously leaning toward that option. Oh and I'm starting tonight. I am going to champagne happy hour with some folks.

I'm only happy when it rains

It's fricking pouring here today - like Vancouver style rain. While this is good - what with the drought and all - it also sucks because I've been spending the late morning / early afternoon coming to terms with the fact that I'm probably not going to get to go home for Christmas.

I mean, we have been entertaining the thought of renting a cabin on the US side of the border but fuck honestly it's beyond our means at this juncture. So, basically, I'm depressed as fuck today and trying to sort out what Christmas without the kiddo and my family will look like. The rain, while apropos, is not helping with the mood.

I know, I know - people are away from their families all the time for Christmas and it's all part of being a grown up blah blah blah. I'm just not looking forward to it, is all.

Apparently

I lost a follower. I had two, before, and now only one. Pity. I wonder who my follower is? Is it a weird creepy stalker kind of follower? Or an interesting fun friend type follower? Inquiring minds et al.


NK I really try not to think too deeply about my current situation in SD. I mean, for the most part it's pretty awesome: the architect is great, our apartment is cool, we've met some nice people. On the flip side, I have no job and no car, so my day-to-day activities are restricted to things I can do for under $10 and happen to also be in walking distance. I have a lot of fun acquaintances, but I wouldn't say that I've made any great close friends. Generally I don't speak to anyone all day long - I email back and forth with the sister and the architect, but that's about it. In fact, when people phone, I almost let it go to voicemail b/c I can't think of anything to say. I miss my friends and my family. I don't know if I'm going to get to go home for Christmas. These things weigh on me, even though I try and ponder life only one moment at a time.

Plus I gotta say - 23degrees with less than two weeks to Christmas is kind of weird for a girl who grew up jumping into snowbanks as tall as her house.

Ultimately, this was a good idea. I mean, the company I worked for is closing that office, so I'd have been out of work in short period of time anyway. The architect's job is so much more satisfying to him, and he has way better opportunities down here than he would have in vancity (recession notwithstanding). I'm just really worried that I'm becoming boring - that I'm losing who I am. At the same time, though, I'm not sure how to stop it.

If it's crowded all the better because we know we're going to be up late

Right now I'm pretty sure I would murder my cat (the backup cat, not the primary cat) for a mcdonalds breakfast - scrambled eggs, hashbrown, and those english muffins that manage to somehow be raw and burned all at the same time at the same time. Clearly it needs to be eaten thusly: hashbrown cut in half; half of the eggs placed on top of 1 side of english muffin; hashbrown half placed on top; liberal application of salt and pepper; bite/chew/swallow/nomnomnom.

Sadly, the only McDonalds in the area is a long walk away. Also, I'd have to go to the hospital because of the eggs and I'm pretty sure that if I'm going to eat eggs and spend a day and 2 grand in the hospital, those eggs should not be from mcdonalds.

So I'll suck it up and maybe microwave myself a yam & eat it with butter and salt and pepper. This way, at least, I can pretend that it's sort of good for me - all those antioxidants and whatnot.

I can guarantee you, though, that it won't be as good as mcdonalds' breakfasty goodness. Le sigh.

I've been a

lazy shit. I know it, you know it, let's move on.

Well, honestly, last week was a bit of a write off as far as down time went. I ended up running from one end of god's green earth (or at least San Diego) to the other for tests etc to do with the immigration stuff. As a result, I do know that I am actually *not* your huckleberry, despite years of insisting that I have consumption. Frankly I'm sort of disappointed - I always thought it was a noble sounding disease, with more than a little bit of romance to it.

Of course, your lungs also liquefy inside your body, causing you to cough them up bit by bit, but whatevs.

I had the worst sleep last night. I don't know if I'm getting sick or what, but I was FREEZING when I came to bed. I was super stealthily trying to warm my feet up on the architect without waking him up. Fortunately he was pretty much out cold and so I could nestle my piggies up between his thighs like a wiener in a bun and he didn't even move. Plus I kept waking up totally obsessing about random facts and details that weren't even that stressful, I just couldn't shut my brain off. Now I have a major ache in my right eye and just want to lie here in bed all day.

Unfortunately, I need to clean the oven, then walk over and pay rent, and also go to the library - I know, big day for me.

We went out this weekend and bought a fake tree and a bunch of decorations. I didn't want to spend too much since I have so much back in Vancouver, but I really wanted to get a few things. Last year was so hectic what with moving into that apartment on Dec 15 then going up to Canada a week later we didn't bother at all. This year, though, I'm insisting. We also got a cute little electric fireplace heater thing. The lights you can see behind it are the byproduct of the fake flame - they're way more evident in the photo than they are in real life, but they fascinate the cats to no end. Dude I've wanted one of these for*ever* so yay for accommodating husband-type persons.

If the weather outside

So one of the crazy things about living this far south is how frickin' early it gets dark. Like, the shadows are getting long at 3.30 in the afternoon - it's almost like living way up north again, though you'd think it would be opposite.

Anyway so late yesterday afternoon I walked to the library and to get some salad & wine for dinner. When I returned home I poured myself a glass of the aforementioned beverage and retired to the front porch with it and my book and the cats for a little leisure time. Keep in mind that when I ventured out to the porch, the sun was setting but the sky was totally clear and loverly. Anyhoo, after I'd been sitting there for a few min, I looked up to see this crazy frickin' fog rolling across the sky. My pictures totally don't do justice to how low it was and how fast it was moving - seriously I thought maybe one of the hospitals nearby was on fire, until I realized that the temperature had totally dropped and there was a fresh dampness to the air. It was kind of like being in a Stephen King movie or something. I sat and watched it until it was too dark to see; totally entranced by the way it was roiling across the sky, weaving in and out of the buildings and trees. Weather is cool.

Would you woo?

OK so at long last we've reached the end of 2wks of visitors - three different sets of family members staying in our apartment with us.

Don't get me wrong - I loved the company and it was awesome to see everyone, but it really did wreak havoc with our sexlife, my social life, and my hermitude. I mean, I can't very well eat crackers in bed clad only in my panties when my parents are in the next room waiting to go sightseeing, can I?

Well I suppose I could but it wouldn't be very polite. Ditto the wild crazy sexytimes - Ian and I slept on the pull out couch for the last week. Bitch squeals when you twitch, never mind go at it doggy style, so sex was def. off the table. And the bed. You know what I mean.

There's a medium-high possibility that my documentation will not have been processed in time for me to go home for Christmas. This makes me anxious. I can't imagine not spending Christmas with the kiddo - seriously. I mean, I acknowledge the fact that he's getting older and as he moves into adulthood there's a real possibility that we won't be able to do it (he'll start a family of his own etc) but I'm just not ready for that to be NOW, if you get my drift.

I'm craving pizza, even though I just ate so am clearly not hungry. Stupid body.

Tuesdae's Child

is watching the temperature climb with mixed feelings. Sometimes, fall should be fall - sweaters and scarves and warm coats; layers and toques and hot drinks in your hand as you crunch through the leaves in the fog.

I see the weather says we should be back up into the mid-high 20s, though, by the end of the week. This is good for my folks, who will be visiting with me, but bad for me because I want to wear sweaters not flipflops. Who would have thought that I'd be longing for cool air and frosty mornings? I think probably it's just how much I love fall clothes. Summer clothes are sundresses, but psychologically I can't wear a sundress in mid-November. Plus people here look at you funny: once the date clicks past October they're in full winter gear no matter what the temperature. OK maybe not parkas but you get the drift.

This funny in-between life has me in a funny headspace. I'm not unhappy, but I'm not happy. I feel like I'm just waiting for something, but I have no idea what that something is. I want to re-invent myself, maybe, find a new style a new look a new way of thinking about the world. I want to get excited about something. I'm victim to the post-obama melancholy. Yes we can, but can we? what can we do?

I wrote a letter yesterday to appeal to the sympathies of the US government - to ask them to please process my application for permission to travel in time for me to go home for Christmas. I've never spent it away from Calvin. I don't want to start now.

Mondaes are for sleeping in

.. and drinking coffee in bed while eating PB&J toast curled up against a kitty.

Mondays are for listening to the world go by behind the red velvet curtain and not wanting to join the rush.

Mondays are for reading blogs and books and balloons.

Mondays are for emailing with the sister and thinking about rainy Vancouver winter days and fireplaces and dominoes.

------------------------------

fantastic post over at David's Travelling

Windy Sundae

Hm that post title makes it sound like I have gas. This is not the case, I assure you.

I've been blog absent again, for no real reason that I can think of, except that I need to be in a groove and when I'm not I just don't have rhythm. Because, of course, you need rhythm to get the groove. (is that the way the song goes? I'm really not sure)

It's kinda gray and rainy today - the wind is a-blowin and the rain is a-fallin. This may be contributing to my overall sense of lazy, but then who knows. I could just be a lazy ass good for nothing who never wants to do anything but lie in bed eating bonbons and reading mystery novels.

At least I've convinced myself that red wine is a beverage best enjoyed after 12pm (and I know it's after noon on the east coast; I'm talking local time, here) otherwise I'd probably be half cut already. It *is* 10.30 after all.

mixed blessings

OK so I'm so very happy and proud that the US has elected their first person of colour to the presidency. I'm so sad and ashamed that California passed Prop 8 which changes the constitution to specify that marriage can exist between only a man and a woman, thereby discriminating IN THE CONSTITUTION against homosexuals. It makes me a little sick to my stomach, actually, and I can only hope that when they finish counting the 3million-odd mail in ballots that something changes.

Jack Skellington on a Skateboard

I'm still coming to grips with the fact that I live in a part of the world where you don't have to wear your snowsuit over your hallowe'en costume.

That said, I'm totally torn about what to dress as. I mean, here it is - day of - and I've got nothing. I'm clearly in a funk. We do actually have two parties to go to, as well. What to do, what to do.....

NO on Prop 8

OK so I'm still visiting with family, but I just wanted to take a moment or two to give some exposure to the No on 8 campaign. The yes folks are spreading some fairly vitriolic propaganda, stuff that has really no basis in fact. In addition, they are blackmailing local small businesses and have hacked the No on 8 website.

I would like to encourage everyone to take a moment and volunteer time (if possible) for No on 8 (or No on 4 if in Florida). If time isn't possible, then spread the word or send some cash - anything will help.

Oh. Hi there, blog.

I have company for a couple of days, so I'm doing the company shuffle. My living room has become a bedroom and I'm struggling to make smalltalk. Praise jeebus for the lubricating tongue teaser known as sweet sweet red wine... Is it too early to start?

I'll be back tomorrow, I promise

xo
Raspberry Sundae


PS - going to a hockey game tonight!!!!!

things found in rental cars

So on Saturday we had to rent a car, because our sweet go-car is in the shop getting his breaks did and I wanted to go shopping (shocking, I know). Anyhoo, as is often the case, the sun reached a point in the sky where the visor was required for safe and comfortable operation of said rental car (a sweet, sweet toyota corrolla, btw), and what do you think we found?

Why, two citations, a vice report, and a letter from the San Diego County Attorney assuring Mr. Dustin Bigguns (name changed to protect the 'innocent') that he was declining to prosecute for said vice arrest.

Oh - and despite the fact that the name on both the letter and the citations was male, the vice report described the person as female, which would lead me to believe that the perp (yay CSI vocabulary!) was a man dressed as a woman. Not that there is anything wrong with that - it's just an interesting addition to the anecdote that cracks me up.

We turned it into the guys at budget with a giggle when we returned the car....

Sloth

Man this presidential election thing is really overwhelming sometimes. I mean, I'm Canadian - have you ever paid attention to Canadian federal election proceedings? (The answer to that question is 'Canada has elections?' - even for most Canadians, unfortunately.) I mean, the most recent was held in mid-October, after about 6 weeks of campaigning. Contrast this to the TWO FRICKING years that we've been bombarded by Americal political propaganda from both sides. It's quite amazing that no one has become immune to it.

Or have they? Maybe the increase in vitriol of the recent weeks has more to do with media over saturation for the poor voters. In order to break through the BTDT apathy so prevalent in the American public, it's necessary to fling around slanderous barbs and virulent conspiracy theories. And, unfortunately, a great percentage of the population often buys the full meal deal of the BS.

One of the cool things you learn when you get an education is how to think critically, and in thinking critically, you understand that *EVERYONE* has an agenda. Usually it's as benign as convincing you that their opinion is the correct one: a toasted cheese sandwich is a good idea for lunch; taking an umbrella is a good idea if the weather threatens rain; Palin is a terrifying Stepford wife Cheney-clone who doesn't have two braincells to rub together - that sort of thing. In order to convince people that your opinion is right, you compile a collection of facts and/or propaganda to support your argument. A good critical thinker reviews a number of these arguments before forming an opinion. Unfortunately, most people in this day and age don't bother to learn how to be good critical thinkers: they simply opt for the argument that's the loudest or the flashiest. The presidential election shouldn't be entertainment, even if it does have more plot twists, comedians, and emotional upheavals than a Hollywood blockbuster most of the time.

Lust (2)

I feel like posting a bunch of random crap today, so here's another. This is why I love the show Supernatural....

From Traveling David

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

Envy

Does someone want to redesign my template for me? I'm bored and can't bring myself to do it. Plus I somewhere along the line lost my little rasperry favicon up top there. One moment it was there, the next - not so much. Le sigh.

I'm also extremely envious of people buying clothes. Even though it's going to be 35degC here today, I feel the need to buy a new fall wardrobe. OK so I'm having a bit of a pity party over here - sue me. Hmph.

I made a killer turkey curry last night - we had naan bread and basmati rice. I wish there had been enough left over for some breakfast for me (I've begun eating lunch food for breakfast at like 10am. I dunno why - I'm on a huge morning meal savoury food kick). Alas, there was only enough for the architect's lunch, so I may have to make myself a blackbean quesidilla.

This post sucks.