I was looking back to see if you were looking back at me

super hot bathroom shots for everyone

So last night I went to see Massive Attack & Thievery Corporation. I actually was really looking forward to MA b/c they've been my favourites for as long as I can remember, but it turns out TC kicked major ass. Not because the music was better, but because it was better suited to a live show, I guess.

The one silver lining to these past shitty weeks is that I'm losing weight like nobody's business. I've never been one of those 'can't eat when I'm distraught' people but all of a sudden I am.  I must say it's a nice change from the human hoover I usually become.

I guess eventually I'm going to have to think about dating again. There's a kettle of fish I'm really not looking forward to, believe you me. I had enough trouble when I was in my early/mid thirties finding age-appropriate men who shared similar interests with me. Now I'm 5 years older, almost 40, and still socialize like I'm 25.  Dating the puppies, though, leads to fucking pulling your hair out and stabbing yourself in the eye with a #2 pencil, so I'm kind of caught between a rock and a going to bed alone with for the rest of my life place. Le sigh.

angst on the planks

So it was a pretty bad weekend for the depression, and I'm trying to think of how to prevent it from becoming a pretty bad week. A job offer would surely help, but I'd settle from a massive influx of cash from a long lost uncle or forgotten lottery ticket. I think that a shopping spree and perhaps a quick adventure would do wonders towards cheering me up.

In other worlds I think that everyone should develop a system of hand signals for communication in busy places. Like, beyond the panicked "get me out of this conversation / place in general" esp that couples have. To me, having a set of unique gestures brings a certain panache to every day coversation, don't you agree? If you could find someone to document you using them in black and white photos, perhaps while wearing cool vintage clothing, all the better.

It's a sad state of affairs

When I find myself driven to write not because I have something to say, but because every time I open my blog I am startled by my own breastesses.

So upon receipt of the green card (which would be better, of course, if it were available in pink), the architect and I met up with a couple of friends for happy hour celebrating. I actually do have a favourite spot for HH and, though it's not the cheapest spot in town, it's owned by a friend and the food is fan fricken tastic. Plus it's stylish and fun and the vibe is so welcoming. I love that.

Anyhoo, I drank too much and passed out cold before 9.30. Yay me! Saturday was the architect's birthday celebration - basically a repeat of friday except I didn't get drunk and pass out, I just fell asleep on the couch after we'd been out for drinks with a bunch of folks. We really have met a fun group of people down here. I do wish, though, I had some tight female friends. I miss hanging with the girls and going shopping. (vannasty, filthy, I'm sending "come hither" looks in your direction).

Blah.

cadbury mini eggs

Were back in the store in Canada. I haven't seen any here, yet, but considering the fact that american chocolate sucks just so much more than Canadian, I'm not on a huge quest.

I also ate a real egg when I was in Canada, and then had another one yesterday. Yay eggs for breakfast again! I've genuinely really truly missed eating eggs.

I apologize for the fractured and uninspiring nature of this blog post. Yesterday I was thinking I should really start daily writing because I usually have random thoughts etc. Today I can't recall one of those thoughts to save my life. I did just bust out my hand held massager, though. Good times.

Oh and I get to cross Florida off the list of states I've never visited as of next Thursday! Yay travelling!!!

I've been a

lazy shit. I know it, you know it, let's move on.

Well, honestly, last week was a bit of a write off as far as down time went. I ended up running from one end of god's green earth (or at least San Diego) to the other for tests etc to do with the immigration stuff. As a result, I do know that I am actually *not* your huckleberry, despite years of insisting that I have consumption. Frankly I'm sort of disappointed - I always thought it was a noble sounding disease, with more than a little bit of romance to it.

Of course, your lungs also liquefy inside your body, causing you to cough them up bit by bit, but whatevs.

I had the worst sleep last night. I don't know if I'm getting sick or what, but I was FREEZING when I came to bed. I was super stealthily trying to warm my feet up on the architect without waking him up. Fortunately he was pretty much out cold and so I could nestle my piggies up between his thighs like a wiener in a bun and he didn't even move. Plus I kept waking up totally obsessing about random facts and details that weren't even that stressful, I just couldn't shut my brain off. Now I have a major ache in my right eye and just want to lie here in bed all day.

Unfortunately, I need to clean the oven, then walk over and pay rent, and also go to the library - I know, big day for me.

We went out this weekend and bought a fake tree and a bunch of decorations. I didn't want to spend too much since I have so much back in Vancouver, but I really wanted to get a few things. Last year was so hectic what with moving into that apartment on Dec 15 then going up to Canada a week later we didn't bother at all. This year, though, I'm insisting. We also got a cute little electric fireplace heater thing. The lights you can see behind it are the byproduct of the fake flame - they're way more evident in the photo than they are in real life, but they fascinate the cats to no end. Dude I've wanted one of these for*ever* so yay for accommodating husband-type persons.

Sloth

Man this presidential election thing is really overwhelming sometimes. I mean, I'm Canadian - have you ever paid attention to Canadian federal election proceedings? (The answer to that question is 'Canada has elections?' - even for most Canadians, unfortunately.) I mean, the most recent was held in mid-October, after about 6 weeks of campaigning. Contrast this to the TWO FRICKING years that we've been bombarded by Americal political propaganda from both sides. It's quite amazing that no one has become immune to it.

Or have they? Maybe the increase in vitriol of the recent weeks has more to do with media over saturation for the poor voters. In order to break through the BTDT apathy so prevalent in the American public, it's necessary to fling around slanderous barbs and virulent conspiracy theories. And, unfortunately, a great percentage of the population often buys the full meal deal of the BS.

One of the cool things you learn when you get an education is how to think critically, and in thinking critically, you understand that *EVERYONE* has an agenda. Usually it's as benign as convincing you that their opinion is the correct one: a toasted cheese sandwich is a good idea for lunch; taking an umbrella is a good idea if the weather threatens rain; Palin is a terrifying Stepford wife Cheney-clone who doesn't have two braincells to rub together - that sort of thing. In order to convince people that your opinion is right, you compile a collection of facts and/or propaganda to support your argument. A good critical thinker reviews a number of these arguments before forming an opinion. Unfortunately, most people in this day and age don't bother to learn how to be good critical thinkers: they simply opt for the argument that's the loudest or the flashiest. The presidential election shouldn't be entertainment, even if it does have more plot twists, comedians, and emotional upheavals than a Hollywood blockbuster most of the time.

riot in belgium remix

so i'm back at work wearing my fun new he-man tshirt. while i like staying at home, i like being there when i'm feeling well and so am able to lounge in the sunshine, cocktail in hand, not when my belly is in knots and i'm afraid to stray more than 10ft from the bathroom.

so yes, it's true, i'd rather be at work than in that situation.

the camping trip for next weekend seems to be coming together slowly but surely, and soundwave a bit more excellently than that. even the sister has broken down and decided to come, which means that we should all have an extremely grand time.

question - what is your favourite beastie boys song, and why?

nicotine valium vicodin marijuana ecstasy & alcohol

traffic at the tunnel was a fucking nightmare today. apparently there was an accident on the alex fraser bridge, so all the assholes from surrey came over my way to get over /under the river. awesome.

i seriously had seen so many boneheaded aggressive driver stupid moves by 6.45 this morning i was half convinced i'd be dead by seven - especially at the moment when a jerk in a silver jetta totally pushed his way into the lane two cars in front of me, causing the guy in front of me to slam on his breaks and me to slam on mine. i wasn't in any danger of hitting him but the big rig truck rushing up behind me almost turned me into a raspberry-flavoured slinky. quite the way to start the day, let me tell you. that adrenaline will certainly wake you up, however forty minutes later you are exhausted from the fight/flight anxiety attack and ready for a nap.

if i were in family guy i'd be brian

intelligent, sophisticated, slightly alcoholic.

man what a weekend. i feel as though summer has officially kicked off - dinner and drinks on a sunny friday night patio (our local - a restaurant with a pub "feel" so that the kiddo can come too), brunch saturday at provence followed by some sunny wandering in kits, clubbing with the sister, the architect, the divine ms u, our new downstairs neighbour and six more of our friends saturday night, then a morning of recovery, coffee and fresh strawberries on the sundeck, followed by the ladner annual salmon bbq in the park for dinner. there was a laid back, relaxed feel of who cares if we get the chores done (even though we did actually get through most of them) that really should accompany every weekend.

random facts -

• i painted my toenails bright iridescent pink
• i'm going to make pasta for dinner tonight, and drink red wine
• i'm wearing undies with skulls all over them
• my boss bought me a hat
• i really want to go shoe shopping
• scratch that - i really want to go shopping
• i wish i were still in bed
• secretly i think that i make better bbq'd salmon than i had last night
• that makes me worry that i'm kinda vain
• i'd gladly spend all of my money on groceries, now that i have an appreciative dining audience
• er... that's it for now

baby went to amsterdam

so do you think that amy winehouse will dedicate 'rehab' to lindsay lohan when she performs at the mtv movie awards? i'm not sure why this is interesting to me - it's just the thought i had when i heard the promo on the radio this am.

oh the police were fucking incredible, by the way. if you can, move some mountains to get tickets. 3 guys, only one guitar change (that i noticed) playing for over 2 hours solid.

heh. whoops - got distracted there.

anyhoo, the police rocked, i'm exhausted, and all i can think about is what some cracked out british laddette will be lipsynching on television. good times...

logic so inflexible

so today's the big day - the culmination of a lifetime of police fan-dom. i was too young to go see them 'back in the day' - this is the only opportunity i've ever had and i'm pretty frickin excited, let me tell you.

write every day... yes that's the way it has to be.

well put it this way - if we do end up moving to san dee-ahhhgo, i'll be unemployed so it'll be you and me my friends,

you

and

me.

whether you like it or not.

i'm kind of free-form thinking today. i forgot to take my meds all weekend so i'm a touch ... shall we say ... off this morning. i did have a decent weekend, though - drank WAY too much wine, especially friday. we had one of those accidental getting loaded while playing dominoes, though. i think we broke our new downstairs neighbour. she disappeared after taking a hit off a bong with the kiddo and we didn't see her again all weekend.

hehehe whoops.

Elliot Gould's Golden Hammer Of Midnight

(disclaimer - uh.... i have a head full of random thoughts today, so i apologize for the incoherent nature of this post.)

1) i've somehow hurt my neck - it feels like i've got a sore throat but on the back of my neck, and i can barely turn my head. this bodes poorly for tonight's dodgeballs of doom extravaganza.

2) i wake up in the morning more tired than i was when i went to sleep the night before. is it my bed? is it the wine? is it my deep-rooted disinclination to go to work?

3) i heard on the radio today that some company has published their estimation of what a stay at home parent would be earning for performing the duties they do. it's up to around $130,000 or something stupid. i'd like to say fuck that shit. as a non-stay-at-home mom, i do as much work inside the house as those who don't work, *and* i'm out of the house between 6.30 (when i leave in the morning) to 4.15 (when i get back home - *if* i come straight home and don't stop on the way to grocery shop, pick up drycleaning, run errands etc). so, technically, when i'm mopping the kitchen floor -slash- cutting the grass -slash- cleaning the oven -slash- scrubbing toilets -slash- baking cookies i'm working overtime so i should be getting AT LEAST time and a half. so there.

4) my cat's preferred method of waking me up in the morning involves jumping up onto my bedside table as soon as the alarm goes off. if i don't throw back the blankets and put my feet to the floor immediately, he will stare at me for about 5 minutes, and then proceed to start knocking things OFF said bedside table onto the floor. this morning he jettisoned my glasses, a small balled-up piece of paper, and the remote control for my laptop before i conceded and made my way to the kitchen to fill his breakfast bowl.

it's not easy being green

so the first thing i did this morning was watch kermit the frog perform 'hurt'. i've gotta say - watching kermie do the h-twitch is more than a little disconcerting to someone who grew up watching the muppets. it's really not right. ergo, i refuse to link to it. however, if you don't believe me it's readily available on youtube or from your usual sources.

ok it wasn't really the *first* thing - i also got up showered got dressed ate toast drank coffee and came to work, not necessarily in that order. it was, though, perhaps the first sentient thing i did this morning.

that's a little scary, since chronologically watching hurt comes well *after* driving the 30 or so KM to the office.

i don't think i have any long hair pictures of myself on this computer (being chuck, the work laptop) that don't show me sporting a hat or an updo or something which would prevent anyone from making an educated 'cut or no cut' decision. well aside from my pervy little brother who has definite feelings on the matter.

oy i'm so sleepy i can barely keep my eyes open for some reason this morning. i'd better be perking up 'cause i've got dodgeball this evening. i heart dodgeball, even though i'm not all that good. it sure is fun, though.

xo