TFLN - the Sundae edition

Quite possibly the best text message I've ever sent: "OK look, if it's really that important to you, we can use herring in the Viking games. It's gotta be external application only, though, and I'm standing firm on the no-Oakenfold".

There's a whole preamble to that, of course, but, seriously, why bother? Everything you need to know about the conversation can be summed up in those couple of sentences.

So last night I started a part time job. 'Cause, let's not kid, I'm chronically underpaid and am having a *LOT* of trouble adjusting to my newfound (you know, since October or so) limited means. It's just gonna be a couple of nights a week, but it'll put some shoe money in my pocket and cut back on the nights when I'm sitting at home watching Top Chef re-runs drinking $3 Malbec.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. *ahem*

Tonight was the first night of a class I'm taking for work. It's a pain b/c it's 3hrs right after work every Tuesday for 12 weeks, which I'm sure will get old quick, but at the same time I'm excited to be back in a classroom (even if it is work stuff, not interesting stuff). Anyhoo, between the class and the new job and the old job I'm setting myself up to be pretty busy. I like that. I don't want to be available anymore.

Discombobulated

So I got a facebook message last night from TNB (blast from the past), asking if I would write him a character reference letter.

Since it's not for a job, I assume that it is in reference to some kind of custody thing. I'm happy to do it of course, but I find it a bit ... weird isn't the right word. Interesting works, but in the old Chinese curse sense of the word. May you live in interesting times, indeed.

I need a name for my little business venture. I have some ideas for business cards (similar to the new blog header up top, there), stationery, advertising etc, but need a name before I can go much farther than that. Any suggestions would be welcome in the comments. My first instinct is to avoid the raspberry motif, but then it is something I am fond of, so who knows.

What a way to make a living

It occurs to me that it's time to consolidate the random things I've been doing and considering 'side projects' into one cohesive entity and call it a business. Really, if I were to market myself and the odds n sods of things I do (marketing, client database management, email blasts) I could probably bring in a small but regular income.

I have, of course, various self esteem issues that make me think this won't work but I'm not having any real luck with the job acquisition, I do want something that lets me make my own hours, and the economy sucks enough that where folks don't want to hire full time people they do look for temps. So why can't I be that person?

Sure it wouldn't get me out of the house, much, but if I keep my social life strong and schedule enough meetings so that I can wear fun shoes (I miss my fun shoes) I should be happy. Plus I could still do my crazy walks a couple of times a week. I do enjoy those.

It's not the best time to be starting a business, of course, but it's not the best time to be doing anything, really, and I don't need to start making a tonne of money right away so I have that security. It's either this or apply at Target or Albertsons and I'm not sure I'm ready to destroy my soul that completely.

Yet, anyway.

Parklife

So I'm sitting in a cafe in my *old* hood waiting to go to work at the salon. I had previously scheduled a hot n heavy breadbaking lesson but got called in around 10pm last night. Sadly, my finances are not as of yet such that I can decline $70 in favour of wine and baking.

*sigh*

At any rate, I'm here in the cafe. The guy behind the counter is cute in a slight, might be gay, is definitely married way, so I have at least a bit of eye candy whilst I wait.

I could probably wander over there now, but would have to make conversation with the nail tech who, though nice, isn't really the most interesting person on the planet.

Downside to being a receptionist in a hair/nail salon: listening to the stylists tell the same story to each of their clients with very little variation in tone or verbage. Plus side is, of course, that they're all super cool folks and I get to chat with people all day. The cats, though lovely, are nocturnal and tend to nap all day. Not the best company.

This work thing should, though, really start later in the day while still ending early enough for me to enjoy my glass of wine in the late afternoon sun. The architect and I had our first patio/wine/book evening of the spring the other night and it was extremely pleasant. Now we just need a table big enough for dominoes or cards and another one or two people comfortable enough to pop by and enjoy it with us.

Kind of Blue

It's the 50th anniversary of the recording of Miles Davis' Kind of Blue today, so I'm playing it this afternoon, I think, while I'm doing my photoshop futzing about.

I know about this anniversary because I've finally got my CBC RadioONE working through my innerweb. I've really missed CBC. I may have mentioned it before this, but NPR just isn't the same. I was really worried about the programming changes a couple of years ago and will never forgive them for taking Northern Lights off the air (that program soothed me to sleep over the course of so many bad nights I can't even count them), but the Q is seriously entertaining. Today they interviewed Andy Samberg's comedy troupe and talked about the Canada Reads program. Oh and played a killer listener call response to yesterday's feature on the movie Rip, which is a discussion of dj music, copyright law, sampling and creativity.

Ooo I have a job interview tomorrow. It's for a position that I'm not particularly qualified for, and for which I am pretty sure that they're going to hire a grad student who is currently doing the job, but it's an interview nonetheless. I'm extremely nervous, am too fat for my work clothes, and wish I could have a cocktail before heading in to soothe my brain.

overwhelm, destroying so sweetly

do i look as though i'm up to something?
nah couldn't be.

i have been pondering career options over the weekend and i'm wondering whether or not i should take a few human resources courses (and not just 'cause that's fun to say). whilst surfing about i came across a scandinavian company that does workplace wellness coaching, but focuses on making workplaces fun. this makes a lot of sense to me since it is kind of part of my role at my current employment but maybe turning it into something a little more formalized would be a rewarding path to take.

ok part of me thinks like that - the other part wonders if it's just a post-tekboom gen x conceit to think that workplaces should be fun. it is work, after all.

but then why shouldn't they? we spend more time at work than anywhere else. or i do, anyway, despite my best efforts to avoid doing much more than my 8hour stint each day. le sigh. all i know is that what i'm doing now isn't the most satisfying occupation in the world and i need to find something that gives me more.

more of what, i'm not sure.

spo's right though - i need to do something more creative 'cause i feel as though i'm becoming a spreadsheet slave, a corporate drone. bleh. before you know it i'll be buying suits and wearing sensible beige nylons under my conservatively heeled pumps, instead of knee high 3inch black leather boots and sheer black stockings.

blah blah blah this post goes everywhere. i need to sort out my head.

we've yet to crash but we still might as well enjoy it

ok so i'm still home in bed. the headache has retreated to a dull roar behind my right eye, and i'm not nearly as achy as i was yesterday. i should be right as rain by tomorrow.

since i've been lying here with little to no concentration ability, i've been leafing through the resume book the architect purchased me a few weeks ago. as my company has been so tumultuous of late, i really need to put together a decent resume. sadly, i've never really had to job hunt too aggressively. the job i currently have i wandered into accidentally - i was assigned to this company as a temp and they kept me on. before that i worked with the university where all hiring is done through an archaic web of nepotism and reputation. add this to the fact that, for the past 2.5 years, my job has consisted of 'other duties as required' and resume writing becomes a bit of a pickle. i'm the girl who does stuff. whenever anyone asks 'who does that' and no one really does, the answer is always 'raspberry'. if i don't know how, i figure it out. this is, i assume, a valuable quality in an employee. however, it doesn't translate well into a tangible, definable skilset. le sigh.

i think i should make an appointment with a recruiter or career counsellor and just sit down and go through it with them. add this to the fact that i don't really know *what* i want to do and you have a situation nearly guaranteed to drive someone (and when i say someone i really mean me) insane.

le sigh.

thoughts? suggestions? great job openings made just for me?

it could have been, should have been

lessee what's in my mind this am.... the architect and i are going to san dee-ahhgo next week for a few days. he's got to do some site visits and put in some office time, and i need some days in the sun. i haven't checked the weather or anything yet, but as long as it isn't raining i'm going to be deeeelighted. i really have to see if i can find my camera. i will have two days to explore on my own so i need to take a bunch of pictures and post them here. i'm a bit reluctant, though, 'cause i've experienced that oh-so-common new relationship phenomenon of a few pounds gained. not that i'm an obese slob or anything - stuff's just starting to feel a bit snug. this worries me 'cause while i do enjoy the thought of a whole new wardrobe, i really do like my clothes.

plus its almost bikini season. must deal with this asap.

i'm feeling a bit better today - mentally & physically. i have mostly cleared my head of the haze and phlegm, and i had a really good chat with one of my coworkers yesterday. when i realized that he's pretty much in the same headspace i am, it really drove things home. sooooo i went out last night and got myself a book on resume writing, and one on how to pick a good career. at least it's a start, right?

ok off to work i go...

the same ol' decent lazy eye

i'm not sure if i am just burned out or if i have finally reached the end of my rope with my job. i've been here for 4.5 years and up until recently it used to be a joke (kind of) how things never changed, even though we always heard 'after we just do this one thing, everything will be different'. stuff's never different. you can move people to new positions that they have wanted for years but if you don't give them training to do their jobs and don't get anyone else to take over their old jobs, you are just keeping them in the same place with a new chair and a new title. it's like filling a faultline full of plaster - it might look like you've made a difference but two days later the crack's going to be open again.

here's something weird - i found myself thinking about boy australia all the way in to work this morning. does that ever happen to you? even though you are completely and utterly happy with your relationship, you find yourself caught up in nostalgia for someone else now and again?

ach this post is all over the place and i have no focus today. i'm frustrated with my job and myself. why am i incapable of just standing up and saying NO i will NOT take on these new responsibilities until you have someone else to take on my old ones? see the problem is that my colleagues here are just doing that, so if i don't keep on with my previous duties my poor boss (who's already overworked and trapped doing six other peoples' jobs) will just take them on and be stuck doing them, too. it's as though the management and my co-workers know this - know that i won't let her get into that position - so are counting on the fact that i'll just suck it up. i can't though - i just can't make myself care right now because everything that i've been promised has always been just so much lip service. the side effect of all of this is that i know feel as though i'm not capable of doing anything - i've lost faith in my abilities and have no real sense of what my skills are. my confidence levels are lost to inertia. i need some kind of career counselling, or something. i need to be exposed to an employer who is a good team leader, who supports their staff and offers training and encouragement. senior management here gives the impression that they are sitting back and waiting for you to screw up; waiting to be handed the excuse to lay you off. when they get it they do just that and, frankly, i'm not sure that wouldn't be a blessing at this point.

maybe that's why i am thinking about boy australia today - he packed everything up and moved to australia. he took his dream job and just... left. maybe subconsciously i'm trying to find inspiration in someone i knew only for a brief time because i have no mentor in my current life.

i'm a punkrocker yes i am

i totally have that iggy pop / teddybears song in my head. completely contagious. other music related ponderings - wtf is wendy's doing making blister in the sun the musical accompaniment to their baked potato commercial? yes i get it - baked in the sun, but come on now if people are freaking out 'cause prince went behind a screen at the superbowl and his guitar looked like a devil penis, how is it ok to use a song who's lyrics include 'and i'm so strung out... i'm high as a kite i just might stop to check you out' to sell potatoes with brocolli-cheese topping? (i'm a punkrocker yes i am...)

we are supposed to go to the juan maclean tomorrow night but i'm so veryvery tired today that the thought of it (even though it's a full 36hrs away) makes me cringe and want to put on my fuzzy jammies and read my book. le sigh.

ok off to work i go - they've locked the airconditioners so that a constant gale force of cold air blasts down on me all day. my poor little space heater is getting a workout, let me tell you...

fun facts about the empire state building

is there anyone out there who isn't watching 'how i met your mother'? if so, you need to fix that a-sap. it's on tonight.

ok next - so we went tobogganing on saturday. the architect ended up with a concussion, and another member of our group broke her wrist. at what point do you say to yourself 'i'm too old to do this?' clearly 34 is not it, since i emerged unscathed. yay me!

i feel remarkably apathetic and unmotivated lately. I even spent a large-ish amount of money on clothes friday, but this retail therapy did little to alleviate my malaise. i need an existential shock to the system, grosse pointe blank style (what did debi newberry call it? i forget...) maybe it's my work environment - i can't wait to change roles here, because the people around me are always so frickin' cranky / unhappy. it has to be that because my homelife has been so great - the kiddo is happy, the architect is great, the house is lovely and clean and homey... le sigh.

anyhoo - we are going to federico's supper club on saturday. tourism vancouver is doing 'dine out vancouver' again this year - a whole bunch of restaurants particpate and you can have food from a set menu for $15, $25, or $35 dollars. i've never been, but have heard it's a blast. if you want to join us, we're going for 8pm..