i forgot what i was supposed to say

sometimes my head gets the better of me and i get all swirly inside and i can't rescue the reason from the emotion and your words (or lack thereof) hit me like pin pricks of razor wire deep across my midriff.

i just look at you blankly and try to detach disconnect free myself from the hazy sweeping in from the marshland of memory and dream. i forget who i am, just for a minute. forget that i'm above all this and you can't reach me here. you can probably see the shutters in my eyes closing like a steel apron drawn down on a shop window at the end of the trading day, but do you realize that they are all for you?