mardi, juillet 26

the ass post

I have no ass. Well, that’s not entirely true – everyone has an ass. it's the spot where your legs join your torso. what i mean to say is... I have a very small ass. Big boobs; no ass. And, if I’m being entirely honest, here, my boobs aren’t that big. It’s just that, in comparison to the rest of my body, they look much larger than they are. And I think they’re kind of round, too, which adds to the illusion.

But I digress.

This isn’t a post about boobs, this is a post about The Ass. That’s right, The Ass – not my ass, not your ass, but THE ass… the booty. As in, my body too bootylicious; as in shake your rump; as in you can do it put your back into it – I can do it put your ass into it – put your back into it put your ass into it.

This post is inspired by a conversation I had with nk the other day. (it's true - if i enjoy your blog there is a good chance that i will harrass you, via inflamatory commenting, until you give me some other way of contacting you. then i will talk your ear off until sated - sexually or otherwise. anyhoo.) so nk and i were chatting and we got on the topic (somehow the topic always comes back to sex with me) of ass love - that is to say, the love *for* the ass and the love *of* the ass.

see, i'm a big fan of ass love in all its incarnations. i really do enjoy a good butt on a man or on a woman. a friend of mine has the perfect applebum - i can't help but stare at it fairly regularly. i'd like to touch it. her boyfriend would like to watch me touch it. i think she's a little afraid that one day, when i've been drinking ('cause we all *know* how i get when i've been drinking) i WILL touch it. and come on now - let's not kid - someday i probably will. just desserts for the night that her bf sprayed half a can of aerosol whipping cream into my butt crack.

i've got very few inhibitions when it comes to my body (other than letting people touch my feet or look at my belly). if we are intimate, i'm a-ok with you touching me where ever you feel like. and i will encourage you to play with my ass.there are a lot of nerve endings there - and it has the added lustre of being just a little bit more... naughty than other spots.

incidentally, when you google 'ass' a surprising number of reference to George W Bush come up.

on point, raspberry, on point. (got distracted by looking for fun bum pictures). *phew* - is it hot in here? there are thousands of nerve endings in the anus - particularly around the opening. sure it can hurt, if done improperly, but when practiced safely it's a grand day out. or in. or whichever. i especially like it when i'm standing beside a man in public and he discreetly slips his hand under my skirt and lets his fingers run up the curve of my ass - just on the inside. not porno style, but just enough to give me a shiver. beats any other form of pda's by a long shot, i gotta say. i recognize that anal sex is the new bisexuality - everyone's trying it, or talking about it, or whatever. you can google and come up with all sorts of helpful websites where people are only too willing to teach you how to properly stoke that fire. makes for an interesting read, regardless.

huh. damn i wish i wasn't irritated with the New Boy. i need to make a booty call.