whoa hey holy

i'm nineteen hits away from being 20000 leagues under the sundae. that's kind of a milestone, i figure. what to do to celebrate? i am open to suggestions.

tnb is off working for two weeks again. yes, that's another two weeks without sex. by this time next week i should be randy and definately off my rocker. today, as revenge for leaving me, i text messaged him a detailed description of what my underwear looked like.

woo just took a huge hiatus to read dlisted... it's like the soft core they show at midnight on global, i swear. i love it and yet it makes me feel o-so-dirtay and unfulfilled inside...

i am eating two bite brownies in honour of nk. he's having a bit of a rough week or so, so i'm eating squishy chocolate goodness in solidarity. i know he objects to my blatant disregard for grammar and all things capitalized, however, i am woman enough to take his opinion under consideration and decide that i shall keep doin' it my way regardless.

other than that, not much is going on. i gained five pounds FIVE POUNDS (ok not really i'm completely exaggerating, but i do have a small taste for the hyperbole) this weekend at impromptu dinner parties - it was grand fun and i'd do it again next weekend except i fear being accused of letting myself go. mind you, i'd have to buy a new wardrobe, which would be a-ok in my books. and my boobs would become bigger, growing in size and mass with every single two bite brownie i ingest. or not every one, just every other one.

i have to maybe read some comedy or perhaps some fantasy or other more positive types of novel before i go to bed for a while. i dreamt last night that someone pissed me off so i duct taped their arms and legs together, dragged them into the middle of a swamp, opened up a vein and left them there for the animals to dispose of...