Everything old is new again

I've been making a big effort to get out of the house and socialize this past week & it's def. been interesting. I'm meeting a bunch of people and having my sense of desirability (sexpottiness) reaffirmed. There really is something in me that needs male attention. Always has been, I guess.

So last night I went with a friend to see a DJ show at a local lounge & was just minding my business ordering a cocktail* when the guy standing beside me started to chat at me. Turns out he was another good friend of the friend I was with. He had just returned from China so we got to talking about that & basically enjoying a decent conversation. Sadly, this did not sit well with the guy's girlfriend who is, by all reports, a lovely lovely woman. She did *not* like me though. My friend and I were puzzled & kind of amused by the whole situation. I don't want to cross this chick though - she's apparently quite the kickboxer.

Anyhoo, point to the story is that .... actually there's no real point to the story other than that my rather low self esteem was a bit bolstered by the last couple of nights. So that's cool.

*(forgot my card there - second night in a row. I'm going to have to track halfway across SD county to collect all belongings left in bars tonight. Le sigh.)

Rainy Monday

Thanks to a fairly high dose of prescription Ambien and some more than decent red wine, I've actually managed to get +6 hours of sleep the past two nights in a row. Sure I know it's prob not the most healthy approach to bedtime, but hell - I was so tired I was starting to hear voices. Sooner or later they were going to convince me to walk naked down the overpass or something equally newsworthy.

My apologies for depriving you all of the story.

The architect came in with all of the forms to fill out for divorce yesterday. I was more than a little surprised at the suddenness. I mean, sure I guess I figured it was going to happen, I just thought maybe we'd have a conversation about it or something first, you know? Like I'd get a little forewarning, not just a file folder on the kitchen table when he popped by to help me fix my closet door. He says he wants to get it all over with so we can go back to being best friends, and that he wants me to be happy. He says he wants to start dating and wants me to do the same thing.

I laughed. I'm a chubby, almost 40 loser in a state packed full of lithe blonde prom queens. I'm hardly the ideal date. He's gonna have no problem. In fact he told me that he's already got a girl that he's been talking to. I kinda suspected b/c there is one particular new face on his facebook page that rang an alarm bell for me. C'est la vie, I guess. At least my blog will get (somewhat) interesting again.

I was looking back to see if you were looking back at me

super hot bathroom shots for everyone

So last night I went to see Massive Attack & Thievery Corporation. I actually was really looking forward to MA b/c they've been my favourites for as long as I can remember, but it turns out TC kicked major ass. Not because the music was better, but because it was better suited to a live show, I guess.

The one silver lining to these past shitty weeks is that I'm losing weight like nobody's business. I've never been one of those 'can't eat when I'm distraught' people but all of a sudden I am.  I must say it's a nice change from the human hoover I usually become.

I guess eventually I'm going to have to think about dating again. There's a kettle of fish I'm really not looking forward to, believe you me. I had enough trouble when I was in my early/mid thirties finding age-appropriate men who shared similar interests with me. Now I'm 5 years older, almost 40, and still socialize like I'm 25.  Dating the puppies, though, leads to fucking pulling your hair out and stabbing yourself in the eye with a #2 pencil, so I'm kind of caught between a rock and a going to bed alone with for the rest of my life place. Le sigh.