i don't like mondays

man oh man. where to begin? so friday began another downsweep on the raspberry express. mr m was off on a bad mood bender, and i happen to be the most available recipient of his ill karma. so.... mike be scooped me up and rushed me up to the land of *real* fall - red leaves and woodsmoke; foggy mornings and crisp, sunny afternoons; sweaters shed in the afternoon warmth; really big trucks and bigger mulletts.

i spent the better part of saturday evening sitting on a swing in evening air redolent with the scent of autumn, listening to the wind rustle through the fallen leaves and watching the full (or nearly full) moon. andrea and i sat there and talked and talked and talked... man i miss that girl.

we came back through the ranchlands - up the switchbacks on the logging roads; through the lowhanging trees heavy with fall foliage; down the cuts; across the fields full of grazing cattle. i've never gone that way. all these years of living in bc and i've only ever driven between pg and lotusland the one way - down the highway through the canyon. man i love this province - i love knowing that one right hand turn will take you into the backcountry and that you can travel from vancouver straight through to quesnel that way. i love seeing ranches that are probably completely inaccessible once it snows. i'm attracted to this pastoral isolation and history on a molecular level. my grandpa used to be an avid reader of bc history - his favourites being the stories of the ranchers and trappers and otherwise leathery characters who settled central and northern british columbia. i spent my spring and summer breaks at their house, devouring the stories of the people who settled this province. seeing the ranches perched on the bluffs in the trees brings me back to their house, to my own history.

andrea and jp are thinking of buying property in a fairly isolated part of north-eastern bc. this works well with jp's career, and their desire to bring up their (not so distant) children in a place where they can learn respect and love for an outdoor life. andrea's a little worried - she's a city girl, too, and loves the culture and life and vibrancy that is the urban environment. i don't know if i could do it - i looked at those isolated ranchlands and thought of the lives of their inhabitants, closed off from the outside worlds for as long as the mountain roads are closed by snow. i'm not sure i can keep myself company that well for that long. and how many books would i have to buy in october to see me through to spring?