mmmcakemmmm

i made someone's day today... a woman i work with is *extremely* lactose intolerant, and never gets to eat cake, cause there is always dairy... so, me being me, volunteered to bring the birthday cake for our 'kid's birthday party theme' monthly potluck. i brought two - a chocolate with chocolate creamcheese icing and strawberries for the 'real' folks, and a vegan chocolate cake topped with a non-dairy strawberry creamcheese icing for her and i to try. it was actually super good, cause i used papaya puree for the liquid, so was really moist. she was delighted.. i gave her a couple of extra pieces to take home with her, and she was really happy cause she never gets to eat things like that; come to think of it, neither do i that often. was a good feeling...

on a less fun note... the kiddo left a middle-of-a-panic attack voicemail on my mobile this afternoon. he had gone to visit a friend in the hospital, and freaked out about being there. his message basically relayed how he didn't feel any better, how his meds weren't working, and that he was going to check himself in to the ward. so i got the message (was in meetings all day) and called him back - needless to say how upset i was... he had calmed down a bit by then, but i think he is seriously thinking about going back in. mr. married talked to me till i calmed down, then made me leave work (i am so unassertive when i am upset... i was prepared to go back to my meeting, convinced that there was no way i would be allowed to leave. completely ridiculous - my company is totally supportive of family needs). he "volunteered" to go tell my supervisor himself, if necessary, and gave me five minutes to leave the building.

mike b said some lovely things to me just now: "you are not a fuck up, Calvies gonna have hard things too, just like you and me, and its not gonna be your fault. I've seen you with him, you work hard, you set good boundaries, you listen and talk. Unfortunately some of this is gonna be beyond your control - and that does suck, but it doesn't mean you fucked up" He's a nice boy... i miss him a bunch.