mercredi, juin 7

all I wanna do is stand in this lie

i introduced a boy to my favourite pub last night. he's a drug rep so is an interesting friendship to cultivate.. i like to test people based on the reaction they have to this place. sure it's in my little town and sure it's in the middle of nowhere but the patio is pretty much unsurpassed in the lower mainland, the drinks are reasonably priced, the service is good and the food is great. i'm not sure what i'm seeking in people's reactions - perhaps some recognition of the fact that i'm letting them in on a little secret, a hidden place that i don't show to everyone. the drug rep guy kinda got it - i could see a hint of revelation in his eyes.

halfway through the evening boat boy called - my phone lit up like christmas and sure enough there he was and it was all i could do to not answer. i called him back when i got home - lying on my bed in the dark, half undressed, breeze lilting through the window, dancing across my skin.

'i'm half drunk' he said.
'funny - me too' my eyes closed, smile at my lips.
'where are you right now?' i descriped the scene painted on the back of my eyelids, drowsily adding details as they appeared in my mind.
'hm. don't you wish you were here?' he asked. i said yes, of course i did, but really i didn't want to be. i wanted his voice in my mind, leading my imagination by the hand through his desire and fantasy.
'are you coming to see me friday?'
'mmmm' i breathed.
'do you want to hear what i'm going to do to you when you get here?' that's what i want - i want the flight of fancy. it's always so much better when i play the scene for myself.