incredulous at best your desire to believe in

ok so i have gone on an average of 3 'first dates' a week for the past month. that's pretty good, i figure.

here are some things i've figured out:
1) guys don't want to date women who have kids
2) guys don't want to date women who don't want kids
3) it doesn't matter if i get naked on the first date, don't get naked on the first date, dress up, dress down, am vivacious and flirty or am a quiet good listener - guys only want to shag me.
4) if i do put out on the first date, nine times out of ten they don't call back
5) if i don't put out on the first date, nine times out of ten they don't call back
6) if they do call back, it's usually to say that they aren't looking for a relationship right now, but would like to 'take it one step at a time'
7) 'take it one step at a time' means hang out long enough to a) shag again or b) shag for the first time, and *then* stop calling
8) none of the advice that anyone has given me has worked

so i'm trying to remain optimistic, but i fear that i am becoming jaded. yes, yes, i know. i mean MORE jaded. i have to admit that i've had sick headaches for a week and haven't been able to hold down my meds, so am a tad more navel-gazing than normal, but i am still lucid. mostly.

i think perhaps it has something to do with this sense of ephemerality i'm having right now... even my job is feeling very limited, and limiting. and usually i LOVE my job and everything to do with it.

ah i dunno. i need some sunshine.