not sure what to say...

yesterday i was giving one of cal's friends a ride to the hospital for a visit and was having an interesting conversation with her. we were talking about our mutual dislike of the question "what's new?". it's really a wierd question. unless there is something significant that's JUST happened to me, well- nothing. everything is pretty much keeping on as it's been keeping on. i'm putting one foot in front of the other and trying to keep a smile on my face, cause i think that even when people aren't smiling back it's the best way to face the world.

mind you, today something is new - calvin came home from the hospital. he's not better, and i'm not entirely sure he's *ready* to be home. but he is and i must say i'm really really happy to have him home. so i'm greeting it with a smile and hoping that we can all stick by him and make it so that this never happens again. we are trying really hard to make his world as agreeable to him as possible right now; to listen to everything he's saying and try and see the meanings and feelings under the words. it's hard though.

i'm so bone tired i can hardly lift my arms, never mind the corners of my mouth. if it weren't for stacy i don't know if i would have made it through the last week. my god it's been almost a week...

tomorrow i am going in to work a little late, cause i know that i will have to stay at the end of the day to complete a job interview. so i will sleep in a little. hopefully i will be able to sleep knowing that he's in the next room, not in some scary sterile hospital room. i just hope that i can relax enough to do it, you know?