stuff i've been thinking about

so mr. married is freaking out 'cause i stayed out all night on saturday. he, of course, spent the night at home with his wife. i've been wracking my brain trying to ascertain the source of his consternation - he knew i liked to go out and play when he met me. indeed, one of the sources of his attraction to me is the fact that i am sort of wild and free - i do things like stay out all night and meet new people and make friends at the drop of a hat.

at first i thought it was a control thing - that is, he wants me for himself, even though he doesn't really *have* me and he is, of course, married to the kind of woman who does stay home every night.

he targets some of his issues with the... um, er, party favours that i indulged in - which i do every once in a while. not the best thing for me, but i'm a resonsible adult and i make educated decisions and am very safe when i do so. he doesn't approve of anything developed in a laboratory, and i respect that. however, this is *also* something he's known about me since we started being friends, so i don't think that theory holds much water.

my take on the situation is this: i represent something akin to freedom. he is attracted to that freedom, but at the same time repelled by it. he wants to be rid of the mundane reality of his quotidian, but simultaneously revels in the vast amounts of security contained within it. ergo, when i do things that symbolize the fact that i am, for the most part, entirely liberated, it scares the crap out of him but fascinates him. kind of like a car wreck at the side of the road, i guess....