mardi, septembre 13

holy crap

clearly i'm not one of those people meant to go without sex.


i mean, i have had self-imposed dry spells, but those are, somehow, different than there being someone with whom you *should* be having regular sex and being unable to. like a whole world apart.

i may go nuts.

i've been knocking boots with myself at *least* once a day, and i'm just freakin' insatiable. like, i just did it. and i could do it again.



seriously, though, it's only been a week. A WEEK. can you imagine the state of affairs on friday when tnb gets home? 'hi raspbMBPH!' (greeting broken off as tnb is tackled by flying naked blonde girl). i tried to talk him into a little cellular love last night, but he was worried that the guy he's sharing his hotel room with would look at him askance if he took the phone into the bathroom and didn't come out for an hour. i suggested that he give him a dollar and tell him to go buy some gumballs, and that there'd be a prize if he came back with all lime flavoured. i said i'd even repay the dollar. i'm not sure he understood that i was serious. obviously, tnb has more self control than i do, cause - let's not kid - i would have gotten naked and spreadeagled on the coffee table - roommate or no roommate.

in other, yet related, news, i've discovered an organization here in vancouver which teaches you how to give hot and heavy lapdances. guess who's signing up? and, as i was chirruping joyfully over this discovery, i was pointed in the direction of another such place which teaches you how to do POLEWORK. how hot would that be?

to be frank, i'm much more interested in the lapdancing than the polework though the latter is the coolest. i just can't see myself being able to practice/perform very regularly, not having the necessary hardware in the bedroom. lapdances, though, are delightfully portable. (textmessage sent to tnb this afternoon: "OMG! I'm going to learn how to LAPDANCE!!") shit if that doesn't get me some extra special fun, i don't know what will.