vendredi, septembre 9

since you've been gone

or since i've been gone, rather.

i've noticed that, since i returned from my hollyday my voice has been a little subdued. it's not quite me - i'm reading words on the page as though they were written by a stranger. (you can do it! thousands already have!) what am i hiding from, i wonder?

myself, clearly.

i'm hiding from the fact that i like tnb and have settled into a situation is unsettled at best uncertain at worst and i'm pretending like i don't care.

but i do.

i'm hiding from the fact that i know what i want and i know that i'm not getting it.

i'm hiding from the fact that i'm sad, inside, but have happy cupcake icing on the outside. you know the kind - with foodcolouring sugar glitter on top.. the kind that tastes sweet but has an underlying bitterness to it.

it's the sparkly shiny glitter that distracts me, keeps me here.

my thorns have blackberries on them. i can't escape because i keep getting distracted by the sweetness. i wind myself in the vines tighter and tighter they scratch and scrape and puncture me but i keep reaching for the fruit.

i'm distracted by the sweetness soft touches in the dark mouth on my tits my lips hands in my hair cock inside my cunt in my ass on my tongue.

i'm distracted by the sweetness the cotton candy junkfood sweetness so good for a moment but in an hour i'm hungry again.

i'm hungry again.