vendredi, octobre 28


so i've resisted the whole rubber band bracelet trend, thus far. thus far, i say, because today in the mail i received a glow-in-the-dark hershey's chocolate one. now *there*'s a cause i can get behind - let's not kid.

i'm also resisting the urge to wash a tablet down with my sleepy time tea. why am i resisting, you ask? well because i keep telling myself that not sleeping through the night isn't *really* doing me any damage - physiological or psychological. never mind the fact that i couldn't go to work yesterday, but didn't sleep at all during the day, or the fact that i puked up my lunch today and was (am) running a total fever. never mind the fact that i'm so exhausted that my arms hurt.

tnb is off for the weekend partying with his buddies. i wish he'd invite me, once in a while. things are ok though, i think. i asked him last night if he was avoiding me, if i'd done something wrong. he replied that he warned me that he was moody - that he's just having a bad week. that i couldn't possibly ever do anything wrong - it's not in me (says him)(fat lot he knows). i know that he has these times. it doesn't mean that it feels any better when they happen. ah well - whatever.

my weekend should be fun, though. i'm going shopping and lunching with my sister (yay! sister!) and getting dressed up for hallowe'en live music fun tomorrow night. that is, if i can get my ass out of this bed. i love lying here in the dark with quiet music playing, listening to the cars swoosh past on the wet road outside. i think that i understand tnb's tendency to isolate himself from people he's emotionally vulnerable to because i do it myself. which is why i'm here, in my bed, in the dark, talking to you.