mercredi, avril 26

lay me down in sheets of linen

i got asked last night if i was picky - if the reason i didn't have a guy was not 'cause tom cruise implanted an asshole magnet in my cerebellum, but actually because of *me*.

the cheek.


anyway, this set my big brain a'runnin. what prerequisites does a guy have to meet before i will consider him to be someone i could spend some time with? i mean, everyone has some, but what are mine?

1) he has to turn me on - mentally and physically. i have to feel electrified when i'm in his presence. if you can only do it mentally you'll be a friend. if you can only do it physially, well you'll never go beyond someone i shag.

2) he has to make me laugh. if you can't see the absurdity of the universe and want to share it with me then i don't understand your species. move on.

3) he has to be able to teach me something. i think that everyone is smart at something - math, economics, fishing, hockey whatever. if i can't learn something from you every day then i'll get bored fast.

4) he has to fit into my 'world'. i have to be able to see how he will blend into my everyday - whether or not he has something in common with my friends. i have to be able to know that i can leave him alone at a table in the presence of mikeb, or the sister, or her boyfriend and he'll be able to converse and enjoy himself.

5) he has to meet the approval of three people, in this order of importance: the kiddo, the sister, and mike b.

6) he has to understand that i will almost never invite him back to my house to spend the night (it upsets my dad), and that i will almost never spend the night on a worknight. i have my routine in the morning and it freaks me out to have it interrupted. i will, however, play sleepover most other occasions.

7) he has to be willing to hold my hand in public.

8) he has to understand that there will always be nights that i go dancing and don't come home all night. i'm not out fucking around - i'm having a kickass time with my friends and i need to do it now and again. if he's into doing it with me, then i will probably invite him on occasion, but sometimes i'll want it to be just me.

i think that those are the big ones. they're not major hoops to jump through, i don't think. are they unreasonable? do you have dealbreakers with the opposite sex? what are they?