i'm getting too old to stay up all night

last nite i went to a house party with mike b., his friend maria, and daisy. it was at the home of his other friend, georgia. we only stayed till 1.30 or so, but because i live out in the sticks, it was 2.30 till i got to bed.

i had to get up quite early, though. one of calvin's friends was leaving this morning to go live with his grandmother, as he didn't get along well with his mom. his flight was at 6.30, so he had to be at the airport by 5.30. that is well before any public transit is practical, so the original plan was for him to sleep in the airport, because his mom doesn't have a car. this is a 16 year old kid. calvin naturally asked me if he could sleep at the airport, as well, to keep him company - this is how i became apprised of the situation. so i said, of course, no. however, i volunteered to drive josh to the airport this morning. so i had only been in bed for just under 2hours when the alarm went off again. but there was no way i was going to let a kid spend the nite in the airport alone.

the second part to this story is that we also have a guest in our spare room this morning. calvin's other friend, sarah, had a fight with her mother the other day and was thrown out of the house. this 14 YEAR OLD GIRL has been couch surfing since wednesday. she went to her house yesterday to pick up some clean clothes and things, and her brother slammed the door in her face and would not let her in. this 14 YEAR OLD. what the hell is her family thinking?

my mom and i were talking about it a bit this morning. she is as befuddled as i - it's as though an entire generation of children are being raised to believe that they don't matter as much as their parents' jobs or lives. and here, i have to bow my own head in shame a bit, because i have been caught up in work. as a single mom it's been really hard to provide for us sometimes without putting in really really long hours. even now, with my commute, it takes me forever to get home from work at the end of the day. i don't spend as much time with my kid as i should. i'm fully guilty of that. but i do try to make special time for him. and i will make a full effort to do more. and i hope to god he knows how much he means to me. i try to tell him as often as i can without making it meaningless.

i don't know. i don't have any answers. but just cause kids don't seem like kids doesn't mean that they aren't. they still need to be guided and looked after and loved. but then, i guess adults do, too.