i'm sick and so fucking emo it hurts me inside. i don't even want to write this i hate MYSELF so much right now. how lame is that? i hate the way i am filled with self-doubt about dating and men liking me. i hate how at the back of my mind, even though i spent two wicked days with this person, all i can think about was that it was all a big scam and he was just playing me. i hate how fucking paranoid i get about this shit. it's so stupid. why do i even care? i hate how i have total trust issues and i hate my crazy exboyfriend for putting them there.
i hate how i want to have chocolate cake and we only had carrot cake, so i ate that anyway, and now i'm going to have a belly ache and it won't be worth it.
i hate how it's so nice out today and i wish i were outside and i'm stuck in here with the kleenex and the fucking voices in my head.
i want to tear the heads off barbie dolls set them on fire and throw them at smiling people.
|