too wild for words

so i'm trying to think of what to say about this boy i spent the weekend with. i'm trying to figure out how to describe the weird sense of connectedness i feel with him: how with him i feel free to be smart-raspberry and dirty-raspberry and party-raspberry - all of me all at once, not suppress one or two or all three in order to please someone; how i spent a very enjoyable brunch sparring with his best friend about semiotics and the merits (or lack thereof) postmodernism and how he sat there with a huge grin on his face saying 'i LOVE this' the whole time; how he fucked me to the point where i am bruised and tender and sore and would still take off my pants and climb on top of him in a heartbeat right NOW if i had the chance; how i'm totally afraid that he's too good to be true and that any moment now i'm going to wake up and realize i got dropped on my head, or had a really bad allergy attack and am medicated in the hospital having super vivid coma hallucinations; how if i did wake up and find out it was all untrue i'd ask them no BEG them to put me back under so i could find him again in my dreams. but i can't think of what to say, and i don't want to jinx it, so i won't say anything at all, ok?